WWE Smackdown Review 07/03/2014

“Jessie, get down from that table AT ONCE!”
“But why Mr White? I’m havin fun up here bitch!”
“Because we have to cook”

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WWE RAW Review 03/03/2014

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LOOOOK IN MA EYEEEEEEEEEEEEZ, WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Paul Heyman. I see Paul Heyman. That’s Paul Heyman so it is.

RAW opened with a pipebomb promo, in Chicago, and the guy who delivered the words came oot tae CM Punks music. Surely they widnae dae that tae us? Surely they widnae dae that tae a crowd who had openly spoken of their desire tae hi-jack the show and disrupt it as much as possible until CM Punk appears. Surely fuckin no, thats just too cruel int it? or it wid be in a universe where I gied a fuck about CM Punk. Naw really, I dont. He’s been away for aboot a year now. and yees need tae just get over it. I don’t sit in ma spare room every night perfecting my lifesized clay mould of him ataw, and I most certainly dont huv his promos playin in the background whilst I stare intently at C(lay) M(ould) Punk ¬†and imagine he’s cuttin them on me. Naw. I dont care mate. You shouldnt either. WHY DID HE LEAVE ME THOUGH?

Heyman comes out tae a chorus of boos, cause this crowd clearly dont understand that Paul Heyman is their da. Button yer fuckin Punk chants and open yer ears. Heyman settles down in the middle of the ring wae the legs crossed, leaving us in nae doubt that he’s either trying hard tae imitate the Pipebomb promo, or he’s showin aff aw the extra flexibility he has since he started power pilates wae Brock.
He’s telling us a wee story about a Paul Heyman guy who they never really wanted. They didnae want him back then, and they dont want him now. His perseverance, and a magnificent balding man named Paul Heyman were his only allies. He’s Chicago born, Chicago raised, and still currently lives there today and his name is…..

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CM Punk? Who gies a fuck?

So its Chicago the night, and oor Punk is rumoured to be returning. I’d like tae provide ye some reasons regarding why I don’t really give a fuck. I know eh? Yer punk daft Marty! First blog on this fuckin website wis dedicated tae the man and his initial departure from WWE, but mon and I’ll tell ye why I dont gie a fuck. Mon. It’ll be a laugh. Take a walk wae me.

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