So yer ROH had their first proper PPV last night, and rather than writing a full review I thought I’d adapt this new venture intae an ROH SPECIAL BAYBAAAAAY. The show was an absolute belter and left me THIRSTIN for more ROH. I’m a casual ROH fan at best tbh. If someone draws my attention to something crackin, then I’ll go out of my way to watch it, but I’m not in the habit of watching their stuff regularly, and that’s something that needs tae change, cause this show was stellar from top to bottom. As were the two recent joint shows they done with NJPW.
One of the main selling points of ROH to me is the fact that Matt Hardy is involved. I’ve always considered Matt Hardy to be at the forefront of the professional wre….nah I cannae dae it. Fuck Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy is quite possibly the worst human being on planet earth, and he moves with the grace of a hippopotamus wae broken legs. Cunt’s a fuckin pollution so he is. So it says it all about this show that even the match he was involved in was outstanding, and he was decent enough in it. Well he was his usual lumbering shite self, but he took a fuckin tremendous bump for the decision, wae Jay Briscoe hitting a superplex off the ladder and putting Matt through a table. Oh aye, the match was restarted by Nigel Mcguinness cause he’s the ROH “match-maker” and he wisnae too chuffed wae the how it ended initially (Hardy and Bennett stealing the win via illegal means) so he decided tae take it upon himself tae play fuckin god. Match was decent. I like the Briscoes. Prefer the hairy wan tae the bald wan, which is odd cause the bald one also has a big beard, making him my blood brother or suhin. Before that we had matches. A clutch of the fuckin things. The opener was a 6 man madness match, with the winner becoming the number one contender for the TV Title. In this match we had 6 guys playing musical chairs, cept instead of playing musical chairs, they done some really fast wrasslin. ACH in particular was a standout, as was ex champ Tommaso Ciampa, but it was ma main man ACH who got the win, after diving on everycunt and rolling his least favourite one intae the ring for 450 splash and sleekit 3 count. This was my 3rd or 4th time seeing ACH and I’d have to call him one of my favourite wee guys that fly. Easily. He does that good shit and I love him fur it.
Jay Lethal is the current holder of that belt, and he defended it successfully against Matt Taven in an interesting wee match. I enjoyed the match, but I couldnae help but think that if Matt Taven disnae say “Maaaaatt Taven” in the same manner as the Matt Damon character says his name in Team America, he’s missin oot. Imagine that. Yer Matt Taven. yer pumpin a dirty, as Matt Tavens dae. Then all of a sudden ye pull out, let the juice loose and ye hilariously scream out “MAAAAAATT TAVEN” A laugh riot would surely ensue.
We also had a cheeky wee slice of Roderick Strong against Cedric Alexander in a submission match where mad Cedric won wae Roddys own finisher no less! Oh see you ya cheeky midden! Lovely match. Stoater of a card, and we still had us the three best matches of the night tae go. How crazy is that? So crazy. Almost TOO crazy.
We had Kevin Steen going up against Silas Young in my personal favourite match of the night. I found it to be a beautiful slice of storytelling and my man Steen has something. Speaking as someone who hasn’t seen a lot of him, or ROH he makes me want to watch absolutely fucking everything he’s done. Foley’s my idol as most of you cunts will know, and I get HEFTY Foley vibes from this big charismatic bastard. Loved the match. Loved the angle behind it (Silas Young basically calling Steen a big shirtliftin swine for leaving to spend time with his wean) and loved the promo after it, where Steen and Young seemingly agree that they actually respect each other despite aw the patter, only for Young tae blindside Steen while he’s rounding off his promo. One of my favourite things about Young was the fact that he spoke of “seeking solace” in things during the VT they played before the match and it sounded like he was saying “seeking Silas” which is only his bloody name int it! Oh my word. What a fuckin laugh I had when I discovered that. Laughed my tits aff aw the way intae the ROH Tag Title match between Bad Influence and reDragon, which was perhaps my favourite tag match of the year. reDragon retained, but ye need tae see this shit, and if yer no planning on it, drag yer narra erse out tae PBW in October and see Bad Influence in action for yersel. That led us nicely into a sensational slice of wrasslin goodness for the ROH Title, pitting yer Adam Cole against Michael Elgin. Elgin too on Cole in the Final of the ROH Title tournament the year before, which Cole quite obviously won, cause he’s the fuckin champion mate. I just said that. Ye deef? I wisnae a big fan of the interference from Coles pals in the middle, particularly considering one of them was Matt Hardy, and the last we seen of that hobbling monstrosity, he was hauf deid lying in the middle of a burst table. Elgin and his two pals send them on their way, but Maria Kanellis sticks about tae engage in some further meddling. Fuckin daft, beautiful ersed boot of a lassie. Elgin eventually ended Coles outstanding run as champion with about 50 different variations of Powerbomb in a 5 minute period, and that was that. Bringing a cracking title run fae the bold yin to an end, there’s no doubt Elgin is more than deserving of a run with the belt, but Cole definitely has that wee special something. Only seen him wrestle 4 or 5 times now, but he impresses me more and more each time. A future superstar. A handsome bastard. A shagger of yer sister. Watch oot for Adam Cole!
So that’s yer ROH – Best In The World summed up, we move on to the video portion of this venture. Or as I like to call it “The Video Portion” (see thats a bit of misdirection there, cause ye think I’m gonnae reveal a catchy wee name for it and then I….oh…ye got it? It wisnae that hard to figure out? WELL COLOUR ME CORRECTED THEN EH!…sake)
As we’re going ROH daft the day, we’ll go with a wee match between current WWE Superstars Cesaro and Daniel Bryan. I was gonnae tell ye which one is which in this video since they have different names, but if you don’t know I actually worry for ye. Fuck ye daein reading this if ye don’t now Castagnoli is Cesaro, and Danielson is Daniel Bryan? It’s no a hugely difficult code tae crack is it. I thought better of ye ma man.
Good eh? Don’t lie to me mannnn. I know you didn’t watch it. Promised me ye would anaw. I’m no sure I’ll even dae a drawing today. I feel like ye misled me. Here ye go anway, don’t say I’m no good to ye.
May I present to you…STEENDUST
That’s all for todays Daily Thing. ROH n that. Hope ye enjoyed!