Fuck knows. I’ve dug mysel a hole here eh? Fuckin daily thing. Meaning every day. Meaning even as I lie here burst, wantin tae curl intae a wee baw and sleep tae Wrestlemania 31, I need tae try and bust out a blog post. That was one of the main points in starting this I suppose. Even on days I cannae be fucked, it makes me sit and write something. Some words. Maybe about wrestling. Maybe just havering about life in general. Who knows ma man. Who fuckin knows.
Money In The Bank is on Sunday. I may write a more detailed preview. If I ever regain the ability tae function. Until then let me just tell ye this, ladder matches are my favourite kinda match. There’s gonnae be two of them. So that makes for a happy Martin (That’s my name btw, I don’t feel the need tae say it aw the time, or title my ‘column’ wae my name in it though, cause I’m not an egomaniac like certain cunts who write for this site) There’s also gonnae be other matches, but aside fae The Usos vs Harper and Rowan none of them really matter a fuck. Rusev vs Big E again could show ye exactly how highly they rate Rusev though. If its another glorified squash, then ye can expect Rusev tae be sniffing around a main event spot before the end of the year and that fuckin depresses me, cause fuck him, and his probably hummin bare feet. Hate the cunt.
So why dae ye love ladder matches so much Marty pal? LET ME JUST TELL YE. For me it comes down tae a few simple elements. Firstly, ladders are really high. High enough tae reach a belt thats up really high, and when folk fall off things that are up high, its usually either exciting, hilarious, or a combination of both. So I’m intae that. Secondly, usually in ladder matches cunts launch themselves from ladders in interesting ways. That’s pretty nifty anaw. Thirdly, cunts occasionally launch the ladder itself at other cunts, and thats often fun for the eyes and ears. The ladders are made outta aluminium foil and masking tape right enough, but that’s still right sare if ye know how tae swing it properly. Lastly, ladder matches tend to have high stakes. Belts on the line. Briefcases wae contracts in them. Briefcases wae chicken strips in them. Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio had a ladder match once wae a child on the line, although for some reason they didnae suspend wee Dominic above the ring. I spose they thought that would be too dangerous or suhin. Fuckin pansies.
I realise todays daily thing has been completely half arsed. For that I apologise, and I express my remorse wae this video of a really good ladder match. It isnae my all time favourite right enough, but that one isnae on youtube (Triple H vs The Rock from Summerslam 98…two cunts I don’t really care for, but theres somethin about that match man, get the WWE Network, or dig oot yer auld VHS and get it watched ASAP) but aye. Jeff Hardy vs Taker fae 2002. One of jeffs first significant forays into singles wrestling, before finally leaving his sack of shite, led in his erse huvin brerr behind for good.
I’ve been yer pal Marty. This has been a pale imitation of the Daily Thing. You expect better. I can be better. I’m sorry. I love you.
Jim The Anvil Neidhart has chills, and they’re multiplying. Did I tell ye his daughter agreed tae marry me once? Read all about that HERE…