As per usual wae the aftermath of a big house party, there’s a lot tae contend with. First and foremost, everycunt’s hungover. Even those who did not partake in any alcohol or swedge consumption are suffering. I spent all of Monday lying motionless in a sweaty heap, while my pal whiteyed in my toilet, cause Sunday just…I dunno. It done that tae ye. It took every single ounce of energy you could muster, then booted you hard in the chest, rendering ye a pile of useless flesh…in the best way possible. DNA and a bone structure, thats all you are now. Maybe thats all ye ever were. The point is, Shugs House Party wasn’t the best wrestling show ICW have put on this year, but it was…momentous. A special night for the company and for everyone who gives a fuck about it, and its taken me a gid 24 hours just tae let it all sink before trying to put words on it that make any degree of sense. Continue reading
I’m a fan of simple titles for things. The words will do the talking know what I mean? Flashy titles tends to mean pish writing if ye ask me. So with the interviews its always just “An Interview With *insert name*” and thats that. Had tae make a slight exception here because this is an interview with Kenny Williams, and Kenny is the fuckin bollocks. No question. Kenny is one of the fastest rising stars in Scottish Wrestling, and a fan favourite everywhere he goes because he gets it. He knows what folk want from a wrestling show. They want entertainment. They want cunts knocking their pan in to provide that entertainment, and some of them even want the guys providing said entertainment to have more product in their hair than a burd in a beauty pageant. Kenny Williams has it all. When he first debuted alongside Christopher in ICW, my first thought was “aww whit, ANOTHER one of these wee fannies?” but we soon seen Kenny was nae joke. Him and Christopher’s match with the NAK at ICWs Maryhill show was when most of us realised Kenny was legit. Kenny is the bollocks.
The bollocks took some time out of his busy schedule of being a globetrotting professional sha….I mean wrestler, to answer a few questions for his pals at Snapmare Necks (thats us btw) so you should probably go right ahead and read that shit. Its waiting for ye. Down there. See it? Just below this? Thats the one. In amongst it.
Come on over tae our place. AYE YOU! We’re having a party. Jabs be stingin, and steel chairs swinging, baby come on over tae mine….. And so on and so forth. Aye thats right, starting off a preview for a wrestling show wae a parody of Come on Over To My Place, cause this is not yer average wrestling show. Nor it is yer average house party. It’s a wicked combination of both. A house party with wrestling matches, wrestling angles progressing in various ways, wrestling merchandise being procured, wrestling booze being consumed, wrestling burds being felt up, wrestling swedgers being gubbed in the toilets, wrestling ketamine being stu…well ye get the point. Wrestling things. Perty things. All rolled intae one. This is ICWs second consecutive sell out at the 02 ABC, but because they were allowed to shift a few more tickets than last time, it’s officially ICWS BIGGEST crowd. The biggest thing happening in Glesga this weekend, cause fuck cycling, and fuck swimming, and fuck The Chris Hoy Velodrome, and fuck Celtic Park (only kiddin) and fuck everything that isnae happening at the ABC on Sunday. Everything. Toon better no be fuckin heaving wae commonwealth games punters man. I don’t want tae be superman punching Samoan tourists cause they’re dawdling and making me late for my bus, knahmean? It seems exhausting and we’ll all be needin all the energy we can muster tae make it through what’s sure to be a stoater of a show.
Card. Subject. To. Fuckin. Change. Always.
Life used to be a mystery. Every now and again, people did have tae stand alone. But when Simon Cassidy uttered the words “and you’re NEWWWWWW Pro Wrestling ELite Heavyweight Champion….GRAAAAAADO” It felt like………….
This might be it troops. This might be the moment it happens. Grado finally getting some gold roon that waist of his. If you read my shit, you’ll know I have an appreciation for folk who are good at what they do. If its goodies, baddies, inbetweenies and any other manner of cunt. As long as there’s a dedication to making it fuckin good, I’m intae it, and Grado is the best goodie in the game. He keeps ye invested in his story, even if you can occasionally grow tired of the same routine and thats part of the magic for me. The main reason that I don’t think there’s ever gonnae be a day where I don’t consider myself a fan. So this event might just be vindication for him. An event named after him, which is a bawhair off selling out. In his home town, AND he’s going after the belt? It all seems perfectly poised for Grado to have his moment. Grado going intae the lions den against big Dave Mastiff isnae the only thing on the card though. It’s fuckin stacked with good shit, so I’ll attempt to make that good shit sound even better with a wee preview eh? Aye fuck it. Let’s do just that.
Some people are born to do certain things in professional wrestling. To the point that once they find that thing, or it finds them, that there’s really nae point in trying to do anything else. I realise indie wrestlers have to get used to playing different roles in different promotions, but sometimes there’s nae point. If you find the thing that you’re masterful at.. The thing that makes people’s jaws drop, and has them eating out the palm of yer hand every single time. Do that thing. Do it over and fucking over again, and when people ask ye why, ask them if they’d ask a dolphin why it swims? Nope. Would they ask an eagle why it flies? Nope. Cause that’s what they were MADE to do. Steve Austin was made tae wear waistcoats, batter fuck out his boss, and soak everything within a 50 foot radius of him in beer. He CAN do other things, but asking him to would be a waste of everycunts time. Asking Virgil to show up at an autograph signing and actually sign some autographs would be fuckin daft anaw. He goes to those things tae be photographed looking miserable and lonely. That’s what he was made to do in professional wrestling, and Jimmy Havoc was made to do something in professional wrestling also. Jimmy Havoc was made to make you hate him with every fibre of your being.