I’ll be entirely honest and say my knowledge of certain storylines and stuff isn’t the greatest due to missing the two shows prior to Mad Maxine. Mad Maxine was a stoater though, and the main event between Kay Lee Ray and Nikki Storm was one of the best matches I’ve seen all year. Kay Lee’s heel turn was like Jimmy Havoc’s turn if he was Glesga as fuck, and gave the impression that he wanted tae spit in yer eye. It was masterful stuff and seeing Kay Lee form an alliance with longtime foes Carmel and Sara was compelling viewing. The kinda shit that has ye nursing a semi based on pure excitement. I did intend to review it, but as soon as I heard it was going on youtube, I wanted tae wait till then, cause it deserved accuracy. It deserved something in-depth. As soon as it goes up I’m reviewing the fuck out of it, but for the morras show it’ll be the usual. Taking notes, dodging lassies wae kendo sticks, and enjoying a belter of a show. Sure to be a fitting pre-cursor to the show ICW are running in Glasgow that night. Some of the best female talent in the world ply their trade on this wee island ye know. That’s a cracking thing. The more opportunities tae see them strut their stuff the better, and Walkabout is a unique wee venue for it. Atmosphere wise it was spot on at the last show, with Saraya Knight in particular getting up close and personal with the crowd. Winching and tearing the baws clean aff certain vociferous members of the crowd. If I learned one thing fae that show (besides Nikki Storm becoming my favourite wrestler…probably all time) is that Saraya Knight is fuckin scary, and the faint “Paiges Maw” chant I tried to get going will never re-appear, cause I’ll let ye in on a wee secret. I like my baws. I’d like to see them stay where they are.
Sammi Jayne vs Nixon
Nixon has apparently been making a helluva name for herself down south, wrestling boaysies as well as the usual diet of burds, and doing a grand job. She done a wee interview recently with our pals over at Wrestle Ropes and its a belter. It’ll do a better job of giving ye some info on her background than my rambling shite will. Have a wee look at that here. Sammi Jayne I’ve seen 2 or 3 times now and seems to be going fae strength to strength. I’m sure she had one of her early matches at the show I was at in The Classic Grand last year, so its good tae see she decided to stick with a career of kicking lassies in the heid, and applying various wrestling moves to them. It is my firm belief that this will indeed be a wrestling match, and that the Welsh lassie will win. Cause she’s Welsh, and apart fae John Hartson and the occasional win at Rugby what else have they got really? (Just realised mid sentence that those two things are a LOT better than anything we’ve got, so I change my mind, Sammi Jayne’s winning)
Layla Rose vs Miss Cole
Layla Rose is foreign, but she’s pals wae a certain deid eyed goth who occasionally writes for/makes logos/antagonizes the owner of this site, so I’ve got the rundown on her. She does good wrasslin, she’s fae Switzerland, her name isnae really Layla Rose (no fuckin telling ye what her actual name is, so wind yer neck in) and she’s a tiny wee bit fucking scary. I’ve seen Miss Cole wrestle twice now, both in mixed tag matches, one where she played the right nasty heel and wound up wae a burst lip, and the other where she played the Bonnie tae Lou King Sharps Clyde at PWE. She’s a gid prospect, but ultimately a bit too fresh-faced and nice lookin tae overcome a vaguely threatening goth. I’ve spent a lot of time round goths. Unless its really big spiders, or Paul Londons career ending, they’re no feart of anything. So aye. I like ye hen, but Layla’s probably gonnae knock yer teeth out, and take them home with her in a wee glass jar, already pre-filled with your blood.
Sara and Carmel vs Nikki Storm and ?
As much as I understand this is a match to further a rivalry between The Glamour Gym/Kay Lee Ray alliance, and Nikki Storm, I cannae help but be psyched outta my fuckin mind tae see these three in the same ring. Carmel and Nikki are two of the most captivating performers of any gender, creed, colour, sexual orientation, hair length, nose hair length, attitude towards the referendum or shoe size anywhere in the world, and Sara is cracking anaw. I’m no meaning to leave her out of the “your pure amazin” loop at all, she does crackin stuff tae, she just happens to be involved in a match wae two of my favourite humans. As for Nikkis opponent, she gets tae choose from ANYONE in the WORLD, so it’s either gonnae be Stone Cold Steve Austin, CM Punk or Emily Hayden. One of those options is decidedly more likely than the others. I’ll leave you tae decide which one that is. Either way, this’ll be wonderful. I fancy Nikki and her partner to win, cause I’m no sure if what happened at the last show was a double turn or whit, but Nikki came out of it with a huge amount of support, and she needs a wee win tae keep that going. Kay Lee will stick her neb in, it’ll go wrong, Nikki with the roll up. Easy as apple pie, wae broken bits of Meringue on top.
Lana Austin vs Viper
Lana Austin is another yin plying her trade down south for the most part, but I’ve heard she’s good. It’s hard to preview a match involving someone you’ve never seen in any context besides photies, so I’m gonnae say she’s got an erse that looks like it wont quit. Am I saying I enjoy her erse in an aesthetically pleasing manner? Of course not. That would be unprofessional. I write for a magazine ffs, nae way I could get away with such scurrilous patter on my own blog. I’d have my P45 through the post before I could say “she’d get pumped”. Having said that, Viper is braw as a fuck 😉 Seriously though, where there’s Viper, there’s good wrestling, so I have no doubt this will be excellent. Viper to win, and perhaps exchange a victory fist bump wae yours truly if she fancies it. I’ll be around anyway hen. Also that doing ye took off the incredibly frightening Saraya was uncalled for man. Get a megaphone, and get the people told. JUSTICE FOR VIPER!
Kasey Owens vs Bete Noire
So much yass for this. All the yasses. The Owensies earned their brawler stripes at the last show during that epic battle with Carmel and Sara, so assuming this will just be Bete Noire knocking fuck out of a purty Irish lassie would be silliness on your part. This will be a battle, and I fancy it as the sleeper for match of the night. Bete Noire carries a big stick, and walks to the ring to some high-octane rave music, which makes me incredibly torn. Do I gub 4 eccies and rub my erect nipples furiously, or cower in fear? Either way, I fancy this or the main event to take MOTN. Not that these things really matter a fuck. There’s nae champagne presented tae whichever match I deem the best on the card, cause my opinion disnae matter a fuck, and having the two opposite sides of a match try n split a bottle of champers would probably end with that bottle gettin split over someones dome. Fancy Bete to win, and I’m sure there’s some sort of logical reason for that, but I cannae think of it right now, so aye. I just dae.
Fiona Fraser vs Courtney
This has a lot of bad blood. Theres been promos and aw sorts. I dunno why. They seem awfy nice. Too nice to be hitting each other so much. This is the decider in this wee match series, so I reckon they should call it a “next goals the winner” match cause it reminds me of a simpler time, where no matter the scoreline, a playground game of fitbaw would be settled based on who scored the next goal. Courtney was a right bad yin at PWE recently, and I reckon it suits her better than the girl next door thing, but at the same time, villains cannae do the splits, so it’s a tough balance tae strike. I fancy Courtney to prevail, cause she’s young and bouncy, but then again Fiona Fraser isn’t auld and is pretty nifty at wrestling n that. So it might be her. Those are yer two options mate. Dunno what to tell ye. If ye need my guidance to pick a winner, you probably need to work on thinking for yerself. Clearly its a skill which alludes ye.
Leah Owens vs Rhia O’Reilly
This is brawness as well. Rhia O’Reilly was one of my favourites from that show at The Classic Grand and I’ve been dying to see her again. Hugely talented, believable performer. This is another yin that could sneak the coveted MOTN title. I love that both Owensies are in there with proper scrappers. It’s almost like they did properly earn their brawling badges at the last show, which is quite fitting considering there was chairs, support beams, and pool cues used as weapons. Hugely intae this match, and hugely intae seeing Rhia do her thing again. It’s also an Ireland vs Northern Ireland thing, so I fully expect to see the loser chuck the winner under a bus, or possibly they’ll play rugby together, cause I dunno mate. Ireland’s a confusing place. Leah will edge it I reckon, but she’ll take a few sare hits in the process.
Kay Lee Ray vs April Davids
Had this totally fucking wrong originally. I thought “Pick Your Poison” meant Nikki got to pick the stipulation, but apparently she got to pick Kay Lees opponent. My bad. I probably would’ve had ascertained this if I read any of the other previews going about first eh. Ah well. This’ll be lovely anyway. They had a stellar match at an ICW towards the end of 2012 in the tournament to crowd the first FFs champion, so this will be equally stellar. April Davids is toaty, tremendous in the ring. Kay Lee has some new pals, and a new bad bastardin attitude though, and theres nae way shes surrendering her crown here. Kay Lee for the win.
So listen…this show isnae sold out, and if you’re planning on going to ICW at night, just make it a day jam packed with grapplin and get your narra’ erse along to Walkabout. 2pm. £8 a ticket. Make it happen. You wont regret it. Unless someone steals yer car while you’re at the show, but that probably wont happen. Probably.