The Michinoku Drivel – Installment One (Cody Rhodes, US Title, Fantasy Booking)

Davey decided tae come out of his self imposed creative hiatus. Here are the results. Thoroughly underwhelming I’m sure you’ll agree. 

mich

We reupholstered this motherfucka! Wee lick a paint, wee name change for legal purposes, but The Davey Thing is back and better than ever! I won’t dive into the details as to the hiatus, except to say that I never stopped writing, they just stopped being published. I could go on a wee rant about how a certain bearded dickhead can’t share any of his limelight, but new name, new outlook. This is a blog about WRESTLING, not about how good I am at writing, or about my own life and how good I am at writing, or about mental health issues and how good I am at writing. WRESTLING. As it should be.
Before I dive into my subject matter for today, as Assistant Editor of Snapmare Necks, I’d like tae announce a few things. Firstly, WCW week begins on the 29th of September, and we’re doing all things WCW! Including ruining our business cause the guy in charge makes bad decisions. But if you can write and think you can contribute something about WCW, tell Connie or Marty or suhin, and then write it, so Marty can maybe edit it and put it on the blog. Secondly, after weeks of debate and preparations, we are pleased to tell you we will be announcing the first entrant in the Snapmare Necks Hall of Fame next week!

So anyway, I’d like tae use my time here to speak on that Cody Rhodes fella. Natural charisma, stunning moveset, born into a wrestling family. It’s aw there for the big yin. So why isn’t he main eventing? Why is the WWE sitting stagnant waiting for Roman Reigns to develop and become the only decent face superstar in the company when the Codester could have been there years ago. I’ll tell ye why. Cause he’s a fuckin creep. He wore a moustache just a wee bit too naturally. He’s slipped into his Stardust role a little too well. There’s nae chance Cody hasn’t been caught sniffing Vince McMahon’s sweaty singlets. Hanging around the gym congratulating guys on their butt definition. Telling guys to tombstone piledrive him, but to make sure their balls are extra in his face. The only reason he’s kept in a job is cause he’s so entertaining and his disaster kick is off the chain. He used to dip his face protector mask intae used baths before he put it on.

Here, get fuckin shot a the US title. Or fuckin dae suhin wae it. Defend it regularly on Raw and SmackDown. They clearly struggle to fill the 3 hours of Raw, why not have sports entertainers feud for the championship in predetermined matches? I say this, they might have been doin this and I’d have no idea, cause fuck sittin through a full episode of Raw. Is Sheamus still the champ? Mind how exciting and gid that wee tournament was for the #1 contender for the IC belt was a few months ago? Dae that. Just make your wrestling shows good it’s fucking easy. No that I’m saying I could so better, any smark that thinks their fanny baws fantasy booking is better than WWE’s team is highly deluded and needs tae get oot the hoose a bit.

So anyway, here’s a cracking idea that WWE should do, if they know what’s good for them. See while Dean Ambrose is away, Seth doesnae attempt any cash ins at all. Either cause Brock isn’t around, or cause he’s scared of what Brock will do to him. Then, months down the line, when we haven’t seen Dean for ages, Seth finally plucks up the courage in his traitorous heart to cash in and who thwarts him? Dean The Bloody Titty Master Ambrose. I ken this idea involves Dean being off TV for a long time, so a lot of you might be reticent to get behind it, but honestly, fuck you guys. You just don’t know wrestling.

You know who does know wrestling? Connie Williams. Check oot her review of NXT’s Takeover: Fatal 4 Way show.
PUT LINK HERE PLS
And you know who knows wrestlers? And interviews them? Marty. Follow this link to read all his interviews up to now.
PUT LINK HERE PLS

As always, I’ll end with one of your questions you’ve sent in to me. Luke, 38, from Glasgow asks:

When is Daniel Bryan coming back?

Dae I look like a doctor? Fuckin shut up mate.

 

Read more of Daveys stuff here or don’t, cause he’s a wee prick. 

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