The Michinoku Drivel (A Column By Davey Curren, Who Probably Didnt Want The Title To Be This Long)

mich

Before I put Daveys thing up, there’s some stuff you should all know.

Number 1 – Davey made that logo on a random web logo maker after googling “wrestling logos” Don’t mistake him having a wee banner as putting any effort intae this.

Exhibit 2 – The only problem me and Davey have creatively is him continually undermining and belittling me. Whilst doctoring the stats of Snapmare Necks to show his Extreme Rules review as the most viewed article on the site. I mean look at this shit. 

EECEIC

A pixelated nonsense of an effort if I’ve ever seen it. Naecunts falling for it. Get a real job buddy.

Piece Of Evidence Number 3 – Fuck Davey Curren. Fuck uhm 10 ways tae Tuesday. He’s a trouble maker, a rat, and he emptys all of the KitKat Chunkys oot the vendy and takes them home wae him cause the shop round the corner fae him disnae sell them. In short. He’s an arsehole. 

This is a hilarious piece of writing though. I was gutting mysell somethin fierce. He might be better than me at this, but its fine, cause he disnae have time to do it often. I think I’m safe for now.

Read the shit outta this shit. I’m gonnae dae some weird stuff tae the text to annoy the wee dick.



mich

 

PART 2

There is a time in every man’s life where he must take initiative, step up to the plate, go that extra step when no one else will. A time to grab an opportunity missed by everyone else. A time to review a show fae 4 days ago since nae cunt else will. The show I’m talkin about is of course Fear and Loathing 7 at The Barrowlands. For those of you who haven’t read my reviews, I have a slightly different, better style than Marty or Connie, and the stats prove it. (My Extreme Rules 2014 review is the most viewed article on the site by a wide margin, half a year later.) I won’t be doing a 50 million word epic where I spend as much time talkin about myself as I do about wrestling, and I won’t do an in depth accurate analysis of the wrestling either. I’m just going to offer a few choice thoughts on the evening, in whitever order I want, cause it’s my blog.

davesterTheres the cocky wee tone he’s taken stripped away in an instant. Cause here’s Dave wae Jack Jester two years ago. In a photo he took which Jack initially said naw to, cause he was in the fuckin toilet and asking him is weird. Look how smiley he is. This belligerent, authority testing wee dickpiece grinning fae ear tae ear cause he met his hero. Is that no a face ye just widnae get sick punchin?

To start off, the queue was a queue. Any cunt greetin about queue skipping needs to take a good look at themselves, and maybe even gie it a go sometime. I myself skipped in at around the three quarters point, and honestly, it was so much better than going to the end of the queue. I got in quicker and didn’t need to stand for as long, it’s bloody simple, everyone should do it!

While as much as the thought of Courtney and Leah Owens showing us their boobs was delightful, it’s not really what we came to see. When I buy an ICW ticket, I’m buying a ticket to see Kid Fite’s baws, not 2 pairs of gross breasts. The way he presented himself left a large proportion of the crowd upset, and many flocked to the exits when revealed that it would be female nudity on show instead of a crackin pair a maryhill grown baws. Is he fae maryhill? I dunno. Marty check this bit before ye post it and change it to wherever he’s actually from.

Anyway, the Maryhill Marvel got a Mexican wave going with the crowd, went right round the full ballroom, and Fito was satisfied. He was happy. But then it kept goin. And going. And going. An infinite Mexican wave loop that I only managed to quash by banding together a team of my most trusted men, and starting a Mexican wave going in the other direction. The two waves crashed together, crushing and killing the entire Carmel Corner. No one mourned them.

Cards on the table fellas, the show was now several weeks ago, and as much as I enjoyed it, I cannae mind a lot of it. There was some top quality wrestling, and if proper wrestling reviewing is what you like, i would check out http://theroyalmumble.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1 or http://aweebitabout.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1

Trying hard tae be cunty, but that shit was funny as fuck. 
………..

Aye so, it’s now midway through December. Several weeks of writer’s block, brought on by ongoing arguments with Martin about the direction of the blog. Before I continue I unfortunately have to say that I am being released by Snapmare Necks. Maybe I’ll get a writing gig somewhere else, but Marty owns the rights to the Michinoku Drivel name and character. After this I will only be publishing one more blog on the site, and it’ll be the Michinoku Drivel End of Year Awards, plus I’ll be presenting the first, and unfortunately last, entrant into the Michinoku Drivel Hall of Fame.

I’d like to touch on a subject that has been on the lips of almost every British wrestling fan. The network. I’ve no seen it, but I hear that in the Stone Cold/Vince McMahon podcast, Vince extends the interview, sayin something along the lines of ‘I own the network’, so he can extend a show if he wants to. He owns the network. It’s his. This cunt made a near complete library of everything his company has ever done, along with other video libraries of companies he purchased, and made it available for an insanely cheap price. He’s ran into a bit of problems launching it in the UK, but the reaction of a lot of wrestling fans is ungrateful whiny shite. I seen a cunt on the FSM Facebook page I think, he said that when the network gets launched, UK fans should get a month free as an apology. Vince owes this wee fanny absolutely nothing. It’s his network, he can charge whatever he wants for it, he can make it available wherever he wants. And this wee wank really thinks Vince owes him an apology and a free month, for suhin the cunt hadn’t even bought yet. The attitude of UK wrestling fans is fucking shocking. Entitled fuckin ungrateful whiny arseholes. Sitting in yer bedroom streaming PPVs, stealing fae the cunt, then criticising the way he’s running HIS company. See if Vince turned round the morra and decided that instead of wrestling, he was gonnae get aw the superstars intae a darts league and show that for 3 hours on a Monday, he’s perfectly entitled to. If he decides he wants John Cena to hold his championship belt instead of your favourite guy, he’s perfectly entitled to. If he wants to cancel the entire network and make it available to just himself, he’s perfectly entitled to. They’re his videos. His PPVs. His Raws. Fuck ye’s aw. There’s a reason you’re not running a wrestling company and he is. He knows how to run a wrestling company.

Thanks for reading my blog! Any comments or queries about this blog? Get in touch on twitter @snapmarenecks, don’t go near my personal twitter cause I cannae be fucked wae you wanks.

If you’re a wrestler, and you’re scared that the new on demand trend in wrestling will affect your entrance music, get in touch on twitter @dave_eh_rave. As good as I am at writing blogs, I’m even better at creating ORIGINAL MUSIC. Check out examples of my work at www.soundcloud.com/boy6, and ping me an email on davidcurren89@gmail.com. Please, I need this. To reiterate, that applies to WRESTLERS AND/OR COOL DUDES, wrestling fans please disregard any way of contacting me.

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