Pride return to Bridgeton LIVE for LIVE wrestling, which will be held this Saturday.
Come to Bridgeton.
Matt Daly vs Christopher Saynt
Matt fuckin Daly. I’ve spent the past 5-6 weeks of my existence hearing this name. Every fuckin day. Matt Daly this…Matt Daly that…Matt Daly’s an idol. Matt Daly is a hero amongst men. Or my personal favourite “Matt Daly is such a wee scone”. My pal is Matt Daly daft, and has began building a shrine to him, not unlike the one Helga built in Hey Arnold. Seriously though, its strange that he’s made such a lasting impression on me without having ever actually seen him wrestle. When he fell down those stairs at SWA in Motherwell, he became a legend. Not because he fell down some stairs, as hilarious as that was, but because he kept on cutting that promo, and climbed in the ring for a doing off John The Bomb right after it. A warrior. Lesser men would have been defeated by those stairs, but not Daly. His opponent is Chris Saynt. Returning from injury to answer a challenge from Daly, with Daly supposedly seeing Saynt as a stepping stone, and telling him that he “doesn’t like his kind”. I assume he’s referring to gatecrashers aye? Matt Daly doesn’t like people who show up at his empty uninvited, without even bringing their own cans. The winner of this goes on to bigger and better things supposedly. I totally envisage it becoming a tag match right enough, with Saynt being joined by Dave Conrad, and Matt Daly being joined by Jon “The Daly Show” Stewart. Open fight night int it.
Bobby Roberts vs Mike Musso
Mike Musso is huge. Mike Musso has been around Scottish Wrestling for longer than most of us have been alive on this earth. He’s a veteran. A straight shooter. A legend. The stature of a basketball player, and the long flowing locks of a god. He is all three members of Hanson rolled in to one, and rolled in to a pair of wrestling trunks. He is your god. I’m making this up entirely. Only seen him wrestle once, but he knows what he’s doing. Bobby Roberts is a different kettle of cats entirely. He will Lou Thesz press you in a heartbeat. He will punch people. He is no-nonsense. If a tin of John Smiths became a human wrestler, that wrestler would be Bobby Roberts. Someone will win. It will happen. Prepare for it.
Viper vs Debbie Sharp
FUCK HER UP VIPER! FUCK HER UP! I mean eh….professionalism n that. I hope this is a good match between two good eh…competitors. And I certain DO NOT hope that Viper puts an unrelenting beat down on her opponent. No sir. I’ve not been “praying” that Debbie gets a doing. That wouldn’t be humane of me at all. She’s suffered enough. But with that being said WE LOVE YOU VIPER…WE DO…OH VIPER WE LOVE YOU. Ok…I’m done now. I could also see shenanigans happening here and this becoming a triple threat, or even a fatal four way, or a TORNADO TAG with FIRE. Or ye know….might just be the scheduled singles match.
Ryan Griffin vs Dickie Divers
Ryan Griffin likes a right good jump. Thats why they call him “Jumpin” Ryan….naw wait. I’ve fucked that. Hold on. Is it “leaping” Ryan? “high fiving” Ryan? Its something to to with upward motion. Definitely. FLYIN! ITS FLYIN RYAN! The current SWA Junior Heavyweight Champion, and wearer of Irn Bru coloured trunks. An exciting man indeed. Up against one of the mainstays of Pride, and the inaugural Pride champion Dickie “Richard” Divers. Or “Richie Divers” to give him his more commonly used name. Naw wait. I’ve fucked that as well eh? Might as well quit while I’m considerably behind. The match will be good. The match will be wrestling. I’m looking forward to it. Fin.
Chris Renfrew (c) vs D.C.T (N7 Title Match)
Honestly, if you told me 3 years ago when I first started going to Scottish Wrestling shows that D.C.T vs Renfrew would be a match-up between two of my favourite folk, I’d have said you were aff yer nut. D.C.T was a mere ref-e-ree back then, and I’m sure he wont mind me saying this (or he’ll gut me like a fish, either way, I’m prepared) but Renfrew was one of the folk I wasn’t really a fan of early on. He won me over with his outstanding mic skills and his ability to make me give a fuck about what a man has written on his upper torso. No one has grabbed me like that since The Blue Meanie.
Renfrew vs Girvan for the title at the last show was an absolute belter and it was nice to see Renfrew pick up a singles belt. A rightful reward for the graft he’s put in over the past couple of years. Am I sooking up his arse cause I said earlier that he used to be one of my least favourite? That’s actually nane of you fuckin business pal. Wind yer neck in. DCT cashes in his 24/7 title shot against the man he made his debut against. I didn’t see that match, but I imagine Renfrew leathered the poor cunt, but DCT (interview coming soon, 2015…watch out for it) used that as fuel. He went from regular old mat slapping ref, to INTERNATIONAL SEX HERO and he’s got a thirst for scoops. Scoops lead to gold. Gold leads to ships and armies, and ships and armies lead to conquer. Whit the fuck am I even on about man. The match will be excellent I imagine, but I fancy Renfrew to hold on to the belt in dramatic circumstances. Hitting the Stone Cold Stoner somewhere in the park outside the venue, and dragging DCTs limp body into the ring for the pin. I imagine they’d both get counted out in that circumstance right enough. Rules are rules.
Jackie Polo (c) vs Big Damo (Pride Championship Match)
Polo cashing in his 24/7 title shot and winning the belt right after Mikey Whiplash had ended Glen Dunbars reign was wonderful for various reasons, but the main one is that it had shock value. So little in wrestling has that these days, because everyone knows everything before it happens. Everyone’s an expert who likes to predict the fucking future, like their opinion actually matters. No one is just content to wait and see how it plays out. That really annoys me you know? Folk just not being content to let the professionals do their job. Nae cunt needs to know how you think it’s going to play out. Keep your opinions to yourself kid. Having said all that…..Big Damo’s undoubtedly taking the belt. Know why? Because he’s bigger than Jackie Polo. A lot bigger. Whilst Jackie Polo is skilled and I enjoy him, he also happens to be a lot smaller than his opponent, so unless he’s allowed to bring a gun, either for tranquillising or murdering, he’s nae chance. Big man will dance on his ribs. His hugeness also neutralises a lot of Polo’s moveset. You cant Polo Plex a bear. The shoulderbreaker would become a move that breaks Polo’s own knee. Its all very dangerous indeed. It will be wonderful to see Jackie return after he broke his face on the ICW tour, but unless shenanigans are afoot (a Lou King Sharp run in would be wonderful) I see a new champion being crowned.