PWE had a bit of a turbulent build up to this show. The original lineup was supposed to include Austin Aries and Tommy End, but instead we ended up with one of most well-respected wrestlers in the world in Samoa Joe. More than an adequate replacement, and enough to sell out the Citadel and send everyone apart from Iestyn Rees home happ. As much as it would have been huge to have Aries in Scotland, it was equally thrilling to see a current WWE NTX star and former TNA World Champion on the show. I’ve seen every PWE show for over a year now, and they’ve always been worth the wee daytrip through to Ayr. Road To Revolution had its lulls, and Masters vs Rees will never be my thing personally, but it did at least paint Rees as someone who could give Drew a bit of a fight. One thing I remember about that show is that it wasn’t pure roastin, and whilst that might seem irrelevant, the more roastin a show is, the more bodies have been packed into the building. This show was roastin. Says it all really.
Wrestling words below.
Red Lightning vs Chris Renfrew
Red Lightning will always be the best at annoying you. No amount of Matt Daly saying his own name, or Joe Hendry parodying pop songs, or even Bubblegum being Bubblegum (its no my thing mate) will ever top Red Lighting’s uncanny ability to have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand by being a total bastard. He demanded an opponent, claiming to be an important part of PWE’s history because he pinned Lionheart at the first match of the first show. Lionheart popped out in the wee tin flute (that means suit, for the patter impaired) and told him he would indeed have an opponent. A certain Mr Renfrew who’s usually seen with a squadron and a briefcase. Last seen knocking fuck out of security guards after Lou King Sharp single-handedly took him and BT Gunns tag belts. That rage was taken out on Red, making his return to the ring after a long layoff (vague as fuck redtop rag patter there, I don’t know how long tbh, months) and coming up against a Renfrew he probably hasn’t experienced for a very long time.
One of the first matches I seen in Scotland was these two going at it for Reds ICW title. Both were in dodgy shape and I’ll no lie, what I remember of it was pretty shite. I loved Red then tae, even through the Pikachu tinted specks (red and yellow…like reds gear…ah forget it) it was one of the weaker matches of Reds title run. Fast forward three years and Renfrew is arguably one of the top performers in Scotland, transforming his look and persona to jump past guys he was well behind in the pecking order. Strange to think that Red had to meet Renfrews level, but that was the case and he most certainly did. Looking more agile than I’ve seen him. It looks like the role of ICW GM and GPWA trainer have renewed Red’s passion for the thing he does better than most in this country. The match was a far cry from that title match years ago, with the early exchanges going quick. Red found himself laid out with the sitout spinebuster after frenetic jabs from Renfrew. Another spinebuster had Renfrew firmly in control, only for Red to block the top rope stoner attempt to lock in what he claimed to be the BEST CHINLOCK EVERRRR. Red also busted out a DDT, and some of they methodical sare looking leg drops but Renfrew was standing for none of it, and eventually put Red away with the stoner.
Awfy strange seeing Renfrew leave applauding the crowd, I don’t know if being a full on good guy is the best way for him, but folk were loving him and they loved match cause how could you not. Red Lightning will always be one of the most entertaining guys in and out the ring in Scottish wrestling. Gifted people don’t stop being gifted, but the bar has been raised for everyone so Red will know that if he’s going to hang about, he needs to match the dedication of the likes of Renfrew to get back on the perch he once enjoyed at the top of the Scottish scene. Or he can just keep cancelling matches and being hilariously brutal on the mic (YER MAW MATE! being a recent quote) but for me the best version of Red Lightning in Scottish wrestling is one that wrestles folk.
Lou King Sharp and Kris Travis vs TJ Rage and Davey Blaze (PWE Tag Title Match)
Fuck it. I loved this. Nae point even over explaining what went on. You all know what this meant. You all know Kris Travis spent the best part of the last year fighting just to stay alive, and somehow he’s back, cancer free and in tremendous shape. Performing at a level that he has no right to be at. When Charles Boddington informed everyone that the 3 on 1 match scheduled would actually be 2 on 1, as Kid Fite had the night off. Lou King Sharp was probably keckin his skinnies at the prospect of facing Blaze and Rage alone, but he’s game as fuck, so he’d never let they two big bastards know he was feart. He needn’t have been feart at all. He had a pal. He had a shooting Trav, across the Ayrshire sky. Too cheesy? Who gies a fuck, the man had cancer and is back to being an active wrestler! I’ll be as cheesy as I want.
Apologies to Blaze and Rage for subconsciously switching off whenever they were getting offence in. My heart only had room for joy when Travis came out and looking at your soor coopins was off-putting. Travis and Sharp combined for a double hiptoss, before Travis showed his ability with a spinning heel kick. Blaze did manage to isolate Travis and kill the momentum for a short spell, but that spell was short as fuck. They both hit dropkicks to keep the big dafties with their heids spinning, before a hurricanrana led Lou King Sharp to call for the 0141, and it connected. A double suplex followed, before they both connected in opposite corners, Travis hitting an elbow and Lou a flying knee. Travis also connected with a combination bulldog and clothesline on both of his opponents, and kept their arses well and truly skelped throughout the contest, but they did look like they might reverse all the positive energy and good vibes in the room with their soor facedness as they connected with the Doomsday Device to nearly remove Lou’s heid, but Travis of course made the save and they polished the job off with a Superkick from Trav and a Frog Splash from Lou, more than enough for the 1,2,3.
Make it a thing pls. The Lou King Trav Experience. Travis King Sharp. Two dudes with (pink gear and) attitudes. The tadpole and the big fish. I don’t fucking know, just please tell me this means they’re a permanent tag team and I no longer have to see Lou King Sharp go to PWE and valiantly get his cunt kicked in. Nae more doings for Lou. As for Travis, my best pal has had that awful disease for the past year as well. For him to have the bravery to be back doing what he loves after going through such physical and mental trauma says it all, and the way he was welcomed back was something special. He’s a fucking inspiration but aside from that, he can still go. Performance wise he was spot on and just like before he had to fight cancer, he will get bookings on merit because he’s one of the best peformers in the country.
Big Damo vs Samoa Joe
It’s quite odd watching Big Damo now, pretty much waiting for the time where he goes off to pastures new. Considering he was on the first Scottish show I went to and then I maybe saw him once or twice in the two-year after that, for him to be at such an elite level based on his work over the past year and a half has been amazing to see. Completely transformed from someone who barely stood out at all, to being the one who stands out the most. He put himself in the position to be the ONLY choice when a guy like Samoa Joe comes to town, because there’s no one else who would give Joe a match he’d remember. Plenty who would give him a GOOD match, maybe even a great one, but Samoa Joe has had hundreds of them in his career. I doubt he remembers them all. That time he wrestled a bear in Ayr? How the fuck could ANYONE forget that.
They started off getting right intricate with the armbars, and the reversals. It was like an auld Dean Malenko vs Chris Jericho match, but instead of they two neatly packaged late 90s WCW cruiserweights, it was a pair of guys over and above the 20 stone mark cuttin about LIKE a couple of late 90s WCW Cruiserweights. Deception is an art in its own right so it is. What everyone expected from the match came a bit later, and that was an all out, smash the teeth out yer gub and feed them to yer maw type of battle. Damo displayed his agility by roly polying his way out of trouble but he was met with a kick to the dome. Even with all that hair insulating the blow, when Samoa Joe kicks you, you feel it. They both tried to take each other down with an exchange of shoulderblocks often seen when its two big lads smashing each other, Damo even gee’d Joe up for his next attempt with a slap to the chest that sounded like somecunt had hit a gong nearby, and with that extra wind beneath his choking arms, Joe took Damo down to one knee with a shoulderblock. Instead of Damo offering to take Joe’s hand in sweaty matrimony, Damo instead took Joe’s hands to the jaw. Trademark stiff jabs giving Damo a serious bout or sare-teeth-itis, before Damo hit back with stiff European Uppercuts. Huge big hairy arms leathering fuck out Samoa Joe. A majestic sight. They ran the ropes tae, because thats what these behemoths are about. Leaving you slack-jawed and phoning yer maw to tell her all about the time you saw a bear do a cartwheel. He loves to surf on peoples chests too, and Joe got a dose of that but he’s probably the only guy who’s taken that chest stand/senton combo and been equipped to deal with its impact. Atomic drop followed by a big boot and a senton of his own had Joe on top. Hands up for the grand finale.
Damo’s agility never ceases to amaze. He occasionally busts out a superick, and really anytime he does any sort of kicking is kinda mesmerizing, as its something you know fine well he’s capable of but it still struggles to compute…someone…that size….doing…karate? Madness. You’d need to be properly aff yer dids to even consider it possible, but Joe going for the musclebuster on Damo was even less theoretically likely. God bless him for going for it, but naw mate. Instead there was a Superplex from Joe on Damo that broke the Richter Scale, before Joe hit back with a rolling Senton. They battled back and for with big uppercuts and big scary looks in each others direction. The match was utterly perfect and considering Joe is a current WWE employee, it let you know that this is the level Damian O’Connor is at now. He could easily slide in to the roster of one of the biggest companies in the world and not look out-of-place. Even being choked out by Samoa Joe just looked right. Thats not something Damo would like to see happen often right enough, but Joe NEEDED that rear naked choke to put Damo away. Its like when you shoot a real life bear with a tranquiliser dart, because theres nae other way to physically knock the fucking thing out. With Damo, you need the big guns. Samoa Joe might have got the win with that Coquina Clutch, but Damo once again left with all the plaudits as they shook hands and hopefully agreed to do it all again. One day.
Damo is a star. Unique in every way and still improving even after 11 years as a wrestler. People like Joe will start coming over here specifically to wrestle Damo if his reputation continues to grow. Hulk Hogan might even give him a shout, because I don’t think there’s any better way for a high profile racist to put himself back in to the public’s good books than by allowing a large Irishman to book the living fuck out of him. Until that date with destiny takes places, I’m sure Damo will be content wrestling the best wrestlers in the world, and kicking the ever loving fuck out of them.
Drew Galloway vs Iestyn Rees
Drew Galloway wrestling in Ayr for the first time is probably enough to sell out a show in Ayr, so the fact that this wasn’t the main even of the first or second half of the show says a lot about its quality. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I was pure buzzing for this personally because as much as I get the role of folk like Iestyn Rees in wrestling, it’ll never be my thing. The look is there, the air of composure is there, but unless you can move like Uhaa Nation, I’m not personally daft on finely chiselled muscular guys. Maybe it’s jealousy cause of the jelly that runs through my own veins, but thats a discussion for another day. I get why Drew gets put with these huge guys because it’s the only time he doesn’t dwarf the person he’s in with. Sometimes you need someone who can look the big cunt in the eye, even if its a look that says “I am quite a bit slower than you and will probably take the match to a pace that wont suit you” Life’s hard Drew mate, sometimes the pace gets slower and ye need to just deal. Just like he had to deal with 600-700 folk going daft for him as he entered. First ever match in Ayr. He was understandably buzzin.
Drew had control throughout. Thats the kind of match it needed to be. At Drews pace for the most part. We needed all the flying single leg dropkicks and the splashes in the corner. It had to be all Drew. Drew leathered the big man with chops and that overhead belly to belly that is aesthetically one of the best moves going at the moment. They battled on the outside, replenishing their energies with some of the delicacies form the tuck shop. Having personally had a Wispa and a KitKat Chunky from that same tuck shop, I can personally confirm it was a rerr wee tucky. Tuck as fuck. Rees did get some momentum back in the ring, flooring Drew with a dropkick and a clothesline but every flurry from him was met with more from Drew. The standing elbow drop made a dent but Drew absorbed the pain and made it into something else. Every clubbing blow to Drews dome made him hulk up even more. This was good guy Drew, and he had an Englishman to beat and a rousing promo to cut. Iestyn Rees stood between him and his destiny, and he was about to get his fat free arse booted for his troubles. Drew chucked jabs and forearms, before laying Rees out flat with a situout spinebuster. Drew chucked Rees in the general direction of the turnbuckles with a belly to back suplex as well, before nearly removing Iestyn’s shiny jaw with a huge single leg dropkick, but Rees was playing the baddie to perfection. Bad bastard, bad poke in the eye, bad spear. It did have Drew on his heels for a wee minute, but he summoned the power of every Scottish soul who perished in battle before him, in feature films such as Rob Roy, Braveheart and NEDS. A Futureshock DDT later, the hometown hero had made his Ayr bow with a win.
In terms of picking an opponent that made Drew look like the extremely talented adonis that he is, fair enough, Iestyn Rees was a good call, but if you’re looking for someone to bring the best out in Drew in the future, look no further than…eh….somecunt else. Maybe big Broadus Clay (main event playa mind?), or Hiroshi Tanahashi. Maybe AJ Styles if he fancies it. I mean how much fuckin heat would AJ Styles have if he came to PWE and wrestled Drew? They could sell oot Rugby Park for that yin. Drew cut a promo after the match saying how proud he was to represent Ayr all over the world. He literally kicks people in the face in the name of Ayr. Screams out “Ayr Drew!!!” before he hits that big dropkick. That’s staying true to your roots. The match wasn’t bad by any means, but with the crowd so strongly in Drews favour, it felt like it had potential to be so much more. The experience will serve big Iestyn Rees well, but Drew still has a marquee match in him that would suit the platform his home-town gives him a big better. Although I was joking earlier. Please dont book him against Broadus Clay. For the love of god, please.
The Coffey Brothers vs Wolfgang and Kenny Williams
Wrestling matches should never be regarded as an afterthought. Especially if they contain 4 very good wrestlers, but its hard not to focus on the aftermath of this. The unsettling, and wholly upsetting reality of it. After months of in-fighting The Coffey Brothers are dead. I don’t mean they both got hit by a blimp and died simultaneously like. I mean as a team, in PWE, they no longer exist.
They started off like a well oiled machine tae. A well oiled machine of brotherhood, hitting double dropkicks, and splashes in the corner. Wolfgang is a goodie in PWE so we had the big smile and singlet making an appearance and he even his a splash of his own, because good guy Wolfie loves a splash so he does. The fractures started to show between the Coffeys when Mark basically chopped Joe in for a tag. Joe and Kenny worked predictably well together, Kenny taking the spins followed by a Catapult into the corner, then big Wolfie got in amongst it, hitting a backdrop before Joe went looking for a tag and came up greetin. Mark had become Fredo, and Joe was the heartbroken Michael in the ring, sweeping up the remnants of their bond that had just been shattered into a million tiny pieces as Mark jumped off the apron and made it known to Joe that he would be receiving NO TAGS at this juncture. Joe fought valiantly on his own god bless him. Hitting the deadlift German Suplex and missing the Discus Lariat by inches, but he was put away by Wolfy and Kenny, doing their best Big Show/Rey Mysterio impression as Wolfy’s spear was followed by Kenny hitting a splash off Wolfys shoulders for the win. Fitting that next months FSM ONE 2 WATCH Kenny Williams, and “The Undertaker of the Scottish Wrestling scene” (Kennys words) combined for a win, forming a new brotherhood in te very same ring that a real one was broken.
Joe vs Mark is probably happening in PWE now. A match that deserves top billing wherever it happens. Two cunts at the top of their game with styles that compliment each other. This wont be yer Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy type of shiter. They will be like Bret vs Owen, but wae better hair and more LARIATS. Its heartbreaking to see Joe and Mark at loggerheads, but at the same time, YASSSSSSS. COFFEY VS COFFEY. GIES AW THE CAFFEINE.
Grado (c) vs Noam Dar (PWE Title Match)
Nae need to tell the story here. They tell it for you. Two best pals who met through wrestling, on the brink of a right big faw oot because of the wrestling. Namely the gold around Grado’s waist. Noam has always thought it was his destiny to be PWE Champion. He was in the final of the first tournament for the belt where Andy Wild overcame him. He’s had shots, but it’s never been his. No one has given him that faith yet which seems daft considering he’s so talented. How can a company know if he has the ability to carry it as champion if they don’t give him a shot? It has to happen one day. Maybe this was the day. Maybe Grado’s grip on that shiny belt that he won a year earlier was beginning to slip. His grip on the collar and elbow tie up was slightly loose as they started the match off, allowing Noam to work his way into a side headlock. Don’t let all these locks fool ye though, this wasn’t the technical, 15 different variations of suplex in the wan match, type of match you’d expect. They came to entertain and by fuck, they most certainly done that.
Noam went for the German but couldn’t deadlift Grado because in all honesty, when he goes deid weight, there’s nae cunt lifting him. If he ever gets into MMA once the WWE gets too much and they don’t treat his Staph Infections properly, he always has that in his locker. If the cunt tries tae fling ye aboot, just go deid weight. He missed with an early Wee Boot attempt and an F5 attempt as he looked to put his pal away early. Not yet Grado san. Noam didnae wash with his best smelly stuff, and get his tidiest gear on just to go for an early bath. They went outside for a bit, hitting sare chops before we went OLD SKOOL, a move that either ends with Grado out of breath from the panic attack he has when he does it, or it leaves him with sare baws if the opponent thwarts it. On this occasion it was Option B. B for bawache. Suicide dive from Noam kicked us into high gear as this best pal jamboree went a bit mental. They made their way to the apron where they battered each other’s poor wee jaws with forearm smashes and then we had the RK-GRADO OUT OF NOWHERE. ON THE FUCKIN APRON. OH MY DAYS. See this is where yer patter about Grado is exposed as the pure and utter PISH it truly is. He disnae dae new things. He’s a 4 or 5 trick pony. He’s all about the comedy. AYE CAUSE COMEDY WRESTLERS DAE RKO’S ON THE APRON MATE. Fuckin chase yersells. Sorry I just get awffy impassioned when it comes to Grado sometimes because he’s puts it all on the line and deserves more credit for doing that than he gets currently.
They got back in amongst it with the Shake, Rattle and Roll, before Noam locked in the kneebar for the first time. It didn’t quite get the job done but weakened that knee for future strain. Figure four followed, before Grado hit the Rock Bottom for a 2 count. Wee boot for another near fall, but the Roll n Slice missed a belter. Noam went for a dropkick after that but Grado pulled referee Eddie Roberts in the road of it and that was him out for the count. Heel as fuck from Grado there, and the villainous undertones become bad bastardin overtones when the F5 was reversed into the Champagne SuperkneeBar and Noam had his pal tappin like its payday the morra and he wants tae stay in the pub tae shuttin time “Mon mate, ma giro goes in at midnight, I’ll pay ye back….pleeeease” Nae ref meant nae new champ, and the same situation arose when Grado DID hit the F5 and there was no one to count the three. Then yer Iestyn Rees came out and that was that. No contest.
Rees was of course thwarted by Big Drew, helping out his fellow hometown heroes, before the hired baddies Blaze and Rage came out and made it 3 bawbags vs 3 sound cunts. The sound cunt to bawbag ratio was greatly improved by the re-emergence of Samoa Joe and the merry foursome of course made short work of their bawbaggin counterparts and ended the evening with a wee dance as the hometown crowd spunked their collective juices for what was most certainly the best PWE show to date. Perhaps the next one will give us a conclusion to the Noam and Grado saga, but for now. We give this 8 and a half Snamares out of 10 Snapmares. Thats how we sum things up now. Snapmares.
Oh and Samoa Joe hit a musclebuster on Charles Boddington, because someone had to take a Musclebuster didnt they? Nae luck mate.