People have been chatting about this show being a bit underwhelming and I see where they’re coming from, but on the other hand Its the fuckin wrestling in the Barras mate. Get involved, get a ticket, get it sold out. Honestly, I’ve been a lot more hyped for shows than I am for this one and a lot less hyped for shows as well. We’re spoiled in the sense that there’s been enough shows at The Barras now that folk maybe look at this card and think it doesn’t match up to previous ones. It’s still a solid card with a few big highlights and anything that might not seem like one could come from nowhere and surprise you. Walk on, to the barras, with hope in your heart, that you’ll see, a great, wrestling show. Not strictly related but with the news about Kris Travis breaking, this show should be a celebration of all that is good about British Wrestling and I hope that’s what it proves to be. No matter what it is, it’ll probably be better than Mania.
Davey Boy vs Noam Dar vs Joe Hendry vs Lionheart vs Liam Thomson vs Kenny Williams (6 man Zero-G Title Scramble)
It feels a bit overloaded. It’s up to those involved to make it not feel that way and ICW do multi-man matches better than most so I reckon it will turn out to be at least an entertaining shenanigan riddled scrap. There’s a lot of wee hidden gems on tour shows that have 3 or more competitors but to me there’s more than one potentially hot singles feud in the mix here that could have been doing with a one on one match. They teased a bit of aggro between Noam and Lionheart and I reckon they might just do that at the Hydro, but it would have been perfect on this card as well. Give Lionheart all the stick ye like, I give him a bit personally as well, he can take it, but when it comes to it he is still one of the best in-ring performers Scotland has and his matches with Noam back when I first got into Scottish Wrestling were some of the absolute best I’ve seen in this country so if they renewed their rivalry it would undoubtedly be a smashin time for all involved. I do fancy Davey Boy to drop the belt but its a lottery as to who picks it up. Kenny Williams is having an absolutely brilliant year wrestling wise and Joe Hendry has caught many folks attention with the videos and the fictional Mr Anderson stabbing. Lionheart and Noam will take each other out the equation before having a 2 out of 3 falls stoater at the Hydro, leaving the bold Liam “Degree” Thomson to scoop up a shiny belt. Or Davey will retain. Those are literally all the possibilities here.
PREDICTION – Kenny Williams becomes only the third ever (I think, feel free to correct, I’m no a fuckin historian) 2 time Zero-G Champion.
Massimo vs Doug Williams
Love this because I fuckin love Massimo and putting him in with a technician like Doug Williams in a venue like this is the perfect platform for the big man to get people sitting up and taking notice. Effortlessly boots people in the face like lifting your leg up that high isn’t extremely difficult. It actually is. In a weird way I’m looking forward to this more than anything else because no one is talking about it now, but they definitely will be after. With the Italian TV deal on the go and even Italian commentary on some ICW events, it would be daft not to have an Italian wrestler in the mix kicking folks heids off and the fact that we have one cutting about and that he’s a handy big bastard is a set of circumstances that must be capitalised on. More Massimo. More Doug Williams anaw. Just more of everything this match promises to be.
PREDICTION – Massimo will take a hugely significant win and go on to continue kicking folk in the face. Maybe he’ll kick yer maw in the face if she gets wide. I wouldn’t want to try him if I was yer maw anyway. Will not end well for her. Or her face.
Grado and Joe Coffey vs Red Lightning and Jack Jester
This will either end with the goodies prevailing against all odds and we all have a wee party with them afterwards because of all the character they showed to get the job done and it’ll be all lovely and we’ll somehow get a cake involved and instead of Bram piledriving anyone we’ll eat a slice each and comment on how moist it is and it’ll just be a nice time to be alive. The most likely outcome however? Red Lightning kills your hopes and dreams. Even if Joe does win and earn his title shot, he’ll take it away somehow. Even if Grado sticks the point of that elbow of his in Jesters eye and R-Gra-Do’s him intae next month, he’ll still wind up with a big chainmail dildo up his erse. The good guys never win in this type of situation do they. More often than not they end up with chainmail dildos up their arses and nae shots at any titles. I hope I’m wrong and we chalk one up for the good guys but any outcome that doesn’t see a chainmail dildo enter a rectum is a good one. Unless that’s what yer intae. Nothing wrong with that if there is, just don’t particularly want to see it in a wrestling ring (or anyone’s ring to be precise). It’s a tougher spot for Joe to shine in and you’d always prefer him in a singles match showing the full range of his abilities but him being involved in this at least signals that another title shot is coming in the not too distant future.
PREDICTION – Joe hits a big lariat on the boss and Red Lightning spins so many times in the air that he vomits mid-sell and had Joe disqualified for making him vomit via lariats.
Sammi Jayne vs Nikki Storm (Loser Leaves ICW)
This has had a cracking build. The months of Nikki berating Sammii and letting her know beyond any doubt that she’s inferior, then the first clues that Sammii was about to lose her temper before thinking better of it. All the way to Nikki blaming Sammii for her not taking the women’s title and Sammii coming reeeeeally close to panning her melt in, to the final breaking point. Nikki standing there telling Sammii her bairn was a mistake and Sammii making no mistake in leaving a foot shaped dent in Nikki’s erse. If the match is as good as the build has been it could steal the show if given enough time to do so. Buzzin for it anyway. Hope it’s utterly swarming wae German Suplexes. Both of them are very good at suplexing of the German variety.
PREDICTION – Sammii wins, Nikki jumps in the DeLorean and makes her NXT debut two days earlier at Takeover in Dallas.
Mikey Whiplash vs Trent Seven
I reckon this was probably meant to be Whiplash vs Jimmy Havoc before the latter picked up an injury, but what we have now is a match between two of the best performers in the UK. It’ll obviously be one of the standout matches on the card and could quite easily be the best but what it represents is a huge opportunity for Trent. A wee bit like Massimo getting the same opportunity against Doug Williams. Anyone who isn’t very aware of what Trent Seven is all about before this match happens will leave The Barras knowing that he can keep up with the very best. Because he’s one of them. If it turns out to be as brilliant as it should be and leads to more Trent Seven in ICW, it’ll have done its job. A wonderful job, riddled with good wrestling and innovative ways to say “fuck off!” to a post match handshake.
PREDICTION – Whiplash wins, decapitates Trent and shakes his hand while the bloody slowly drains from his body. Trent still appears on the next ICW show because this is British Strong Style, and British Strong Style will never yield. Even to not having a head.
Chris Renfrew and BT Gunn vs Wolfgang and Stevie Boy w/Kay Lee Ray
Really disnae matter what you think of the NAK split. They’ll knock the living fuck out each other here and it’ll be one of the most violent and engaging matches we’ve seen at The Barras to date. Personally I loved them as a unit and get a sick feeling in the belly still when it comes to them actually fighting but that’s wrestling. The story can change at any time, and this one has headed down a path that we might not be fully prepared for. A sock fulla pennies over the napper type violence. That proper rugged shit that you can’t really explain to the nurses in A+E, so you tell them your spouse is battering you instead because its one of the rare occasions where that’s actually the most socially acceptable thing to tell them. Anytime Stevie and BT go toe-to-toe its tear inducingly beautiful. They have a chemistry that is pretty much unmatched anywhere. Seems strange that the group are stoating into the scene of their greatest triumph, where Renfrew finally won the title and Wolfie won the Square Go on the same night, only now they’re out for each others blooed. The same place Wolfgang joined the group in the first place a year ago. A place that has historically been good to the NAK is the same place that might see them all come to an untimely, bloodstained end. NAK till death.
PREDICITION – Someone’s gonnae die. Fancy Kay Lee to get involved and cost the original NAK the win.
The 55 vs Polo Promotions (ICW Tag Title Match)
Nae point commenting as to why Polo Promotions are done with ICW after this but it completely changes the outlook of the match. If they are leaving its unlikely they’ll leave with the belts, but the news that they are leaving will make a lot of folk really want them to leave with the belts, creating a sea of rabid purple screaming their lungs clean out. I don’t know if Kid Fite and Sha Samuels were brought together because someone somewhere knew that if Polo Promotions were to ever have a last match in ICW, they would be the absolute perfect opponents but it’s managed to pan out that way anyway. What makes them perfect? They don’t give a fuck. If every single person in The Barras wants the Polo’s to win and boo them until their ears bleed, it won’t deter them. They’ll stay true to being the guys who look like they could and most definitely would give you a legit kicking, they’ll just look that way with blood coming oot their ears. Jackie Polo has always been the strongest character in Scotland and has never wavered from his own philosophy on wrestling. One of the main reasons I got hooked on it in the first place was Polo and if he is done with ICW its a huge loss. Mark Coffey is one the best we have and a born champion. He is still for me the best ever Zero-G Champion, and if he is also done, we’ll have never seen him get to where he deserved to be in ICW because for me that run with the Zero-G made it blatantly obvious that the big belt would follow one day. If there is some irreparable rift there and we don’t ever see them again, there’s only one thing for it. Show them what they’ll be missing. Steal the fuckin show. This match already had the most history of any on the card anyway and with the throwing in the towel stipulation, it was bound to be emotional. So dial that emotion up to “Aw fuck, I’m greetin and I can’t stop greeting. People are drowning in these tears. Innocent civilians are dying!” and knock the living fuck out each other.
PREDICTION – The 55 retain. The heart bleeds purple.
Big Damo vs Drew Galloway (ICW Title Match)
Not had the chance to review anything since he won the big one, but Big Damo for me is the perfect ICW Champion. For a multitude of reasons but the main one is that he’s a bear masquerading as a human and he can fuckin fly. Flying human skinned bears should never be dismissed or taken lightly. He’s also easy to get behind and impossible to ignore. Impossible to dismiss. A champion has to be the cornerstone of the company who’s belt he holds and Big Damo is that. The story him and Renfrew told when Damo won it in Belfast was perhaps even better than the one told during the Renfrew vs Grado match. Two guys who started out together and were always demented with making the most of their abilities. Until that point, for me the best matches both of them had in ICW were with the man Damo defends against here. Fuck TNA n aw that pish aw ye fuckin like, but you know Drew is good. Fuck that, you know Drew is great. So many have had a bright light shone on their abilities because he was the man standing opposite them in the ring and you might hate TNA, The Black Label, and maybe you even hated 3MB. Maybe you are the founding member of the “I hate Drew Galloway and his incredibly soft looking hair” fan club, but he is vital to ICW and since coming back has been maybe THE most important component of the Scottish Wrestling boom. Not because he contributes more than anyone else, not because he’s here every day tirelessly promoting and making everyone around him better (although he always makes everyone around him better IN the ring) but because he’s Drew Galloway. The one WWE regretted letting go of. He will enter the Barrowlands with the TNA Title round his waist to probably deafening boos but when the bell rings, he’ll do what he does best and remind us all as to what he’s all about. Professional wrestling. I hope Damo retains and they do this a lot more often. Maybe with the TNA belt on the line at one point anaw. If it’s appearing on ICW shows, I wouldn’t be shocked to see it defended on one and it wouldn’t be one of those token defences to sell tickets on a family show because as I said earlier, Big Damo is legit, Big Damo is the ICW Champion and he doesn’t do throwaway matches. He does throwing human bodies. Sometimes into other human bodies, sometimes into the Clyde. Wherever he’s required to throw them.
PREDICTION – Damo retains thanks to some kind of divine intervention. Or Drew wins, wipes his arse with the belt, and evokes such a strong reaction from the crowd that roof comes off the places and a sea of molten rage burns the East End of Glasgow to the ground.
Usually I’d finish this off with some fake info on how to get tickets before smugly being aw “PSYCHE! NAE TICKETS LEFT PRICK. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME” But there’s actually still tickets. Buy them here