Reviewing A Random Match On The WWE Network – Volume One

Concentrating on stuff I actually need to do has proved difficult as I’m hopped up on aw sorts of meds for a chest infection.

So I’ve fired on the grossly under-utilised WWE Network (totally cancelling it before Crown Jewel but, cause morals n that, totally wont re-subscribe the next day either) and fired on a random match in an attempt to remove writers blocks and maybe even start a fun new thing I might do aw the time. The match I’ve landed on is Bam Bam Bigelow vs One Of The Godwinns (official  name until one of the commentators says whit wan it is, but its definitely not the one who ended up being Mideon, so lets go with “Not Future Mideon” for a start) from In Your House 2. Back before they started giving the shows proper names. I mean they’re no really in your house are they? Who’s living room is big enough for a wrestling ring? Maybe Steven Seagal or Seal but they’re famous people. Your average everyday wrasslin fan just does not have the means to host a wrestling PPV. Even if they did, do they have foundations strong enough to contain a big time heavyweight contest like this one? I think not my friends.

Image result for bam bam bigelow vs henry godwinn

From what I gather this feud started because Bam Bam pished in Not Mideon’s slop bucket and the pigs have been giving him absolute pelters at the farm. “This slop tastes lit pish” they groan. Aw day long. Drives Henry bonkers (commentators finally said his first name, although I did like “Not Mideon” and he should consider it as a gimmick if he ever makes a comeback) so it does. Bam Bam is belligerent. Not giving a hint of a fuck. He pishes where he wants. Deal with it.

This was a strange time for WWE. They were almost in purgatory. Struggling money wise. Trying to negate some choppy waters. That leads to the odd match on a PPV that just really isn’t anything. Bam Bam Bigelow is one of the best big men to ever step into a ring so to have him about and be using him so shitely kinda says it all about this era. I’ve got a weird soft spot for it all though. Sometimes wrestling is at its most intriguing when its a bit shite and you can see the wheels turning with folk trying to make the best of it. That’s how it feels with Bam Bam here. He’s trying to get all his highly powerful athletic stuff to work, but he’s in there with a big dafty who cannae really dae anything. He chucks him into the steps before locking in a chinlock that felt years long before Bam Bam busts out a brilliant cross body at full speed that Godwinn completely no sells. Getting up a second later and immediately dominating again. Bam Bam Bigelow is fuckin 300 pounds of pure thuggery and yer bouncing right back up after he knocks the wind out you with a crossbody? C’mon now pal. Respect the process mate. Kid on yer ribs are a bit sare at least.

He finally starts to make Bam Bam’s stuff look sare, before moving out the road of a really laboured looking flying headbutt. Then suddenly its just over. Henry misses with eh…something off the ropes, and Bam Bam rolls him into a nonchalant pin and its all over and done with. 1995 WWE was a pure mess.

Thank you for your time. Tune in for the next instalment of “Reviewing Random Matches Off The WWE Network”

If there ever is wan.

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