Everything’s bigger in Texas they say. Including levels of disappointment in significant events. Continue reading
Everything’s bigger in Texas they say. Including levels of disappointment in significant events. Continue reading
Roman Reigns is never Continue reading
The overriding thing people talk about when discussing the problems with the current WWE product is a lot of emotional investment. As good as a lot of the performers are, it all feels the same. Every RAW feels choreographed. Even the most shocking moments feel like they’ve been meticulously planned months in advance. It’s all just forced. Roman Reigns is a great athlete and a better character than he’s given credit for. When they keep him away from the mic and leave him to destroy everything in his path, he’s a believable, passionate big guy, but people are almost put off because they KNOW he’s the guy they’re supposed to like. They know every move made to make him look good is designed to make you like him and to turn him into this mega-star they see him as and people don’t like that idea so take it out on Roman the character. That’s not even a problem for modern wrestling in general, that’s just human nature. People don’t particularly like being told what to do, and Daniel Bryan embodied that natural discontent towards authority better than anyone in the modern era of wrestling. Couple that with him being better than everyone at wrestling itself? We had something pretty special in Daniel Bryan, and the fact that as of last night, that special thing has been forced to not do one the things that made it so special is heartbreaking. We’re allowed to almost mourn the death of that side of Daniel Bryan, because he was so incredible at wrestling that it feels like we’ve lost everything to do with him, but you know what? We really haven’t.
When Daniel Bryan delivered his farewell speech at last night’s RAW, he done something quite special. The emotion of the whole segment was undeniable but if you look past that for a second and break down the speech itself, it wasn’t a speech at all. It was a conversation. Daniel Bryan had each and every person in that audience united as one voice and he spoke to them. Asked them questions, waited on their responses. Said things that made emotions pour out of them uncontrollably, and even threw in a majorly geeky sex joke followed by the cheesiest smile you’ll ever see. He had absolute command over that audience, and not because they pitied him, but because he is still just that good. Even if he’s not the most naturally gifted ‘talker’ he doesn’t have to be. People connect with it no matter what, because they connect with everything he is. He represents the guy they didn’t want you to like. The guy THEY didn’t want to like, but had no choice in the matter. That’s special in itself. A guy without the physical gifts WWE usually favour, and without a huge all consuming personality to mask that, STILL made it to the top. He made the weekly product unmissable while he pursued the titles he felt were rightfully his as well, and the only reason “The Authority” exists right now is because they were the chief antagonists to what he was trying to accomplish. They’d have been the villains by default even if they didn’t deliberately portray those characters and that’s what Daniel Bryan provided. The good guy who was so good, that ANYONE looked like a villain when paired with him.
It would be patronising if I claimed I was one of those people who followed his whole career, from the indies, to the wrestling road diaries, from the vegan transition and back on to meat transition, from the wee beard to the big beard and back to the wee beard again. While I’ve retrospectively watched a lot of his pre WWE stuff and been impressed, him being one of my all time favourites comes solely from his work with WWE. He made me care about a product I had watched indifferently for years. At times being an adult and watching weekly WWE programming can be a mind numbing thing. Repeat matches on RAW and Smackdown making all the wrestling feel the same. Repeat storylines rendering The Big Show more of a giant split personality disorder in a singlet, than a pro wrestler. Daniel Bryan made it matter again. He made Wrestlemania 30 feel like one of those iconic nights in wrestling history and the fact that injury has made that moment the pinnacle of his career as opposed to it being the start of something truly amazing will forever be tinged with sadness. Criticise WWE for holding guys down all you like. To a degree a lot of it is true, but when its completely undeniable that a guy is more “over” than everyone else and has the in-ring ability to match? They will always go with that guy, and putting the title on him on the same night he beat Triple H clean was proof that they were all in. Daniel Bryan was the guy and if he stayed healthy he would STILL be that guy. Probably right in the middle of one of the best feuds in WWE history with Seth Rollins, who quietly became the perfect opponent for Daniel Bryan before his own injury saw his dreams put on hold.
The one thing Daniel Bryan and Seth Rollins have in common above all other things is that they have both broken their bodies for your entertainment. A lot of the damage done to their bodies happened before they have the platform with the WWE that they have now, which is a testament to just how dedicated they are and have always been. Seth Rollins will certainly be back and I have no doubt there’s another 5-10-15-20-30 years for him left at the top if he wants them but Daniel Bryan’s situation and Seth’s own current injury should act as a cautionary tale. Maybe the buckle bombs and all the suicide dives should be saved for the big occasions. Maybe it’s ok to ask to sit out of a few house shows now and then because your body just wont let you be the wrestler you want to be. It ok to prioritise yourself to maximise this career, because once its over, its fucking done. This is not a Terry Funk retirement, this is very real. Right now if Daniel Bryan wrestles again, there’s a chance it could lead to him never being able to walk again so as heartbreaking as it was, this is how it has to be. It doesn’t have to be this way for everyone.
It’s ok to be sad today, but that farewell speech should tell you everything you need to know about Daniel Bryan and his connection with the fans. It was never a fad. It didn’t just happen because people naturally back the underdog, it happened because Daniel Bryan is just that good. Even though we will never get to see him wrestle again, his legacy goes far beyond that and if the right role presents itself, he could easily be a guy who makes WWE programming unmissable again as a non-wrestling character. You would imagine being so close to it all would be too much for him to bear as every fibre of his being still wants to be a professional wrestler, and even if that is the case, he’ll still probably captivate us when he goes off to have a family and disappears into the woods for the rest of his days, because he was put on this earth to do just that. Thank you Daniel Bryan. For everything you gave us, but above all else, thank you for making me care again.
Don’t meet your heroes. That’s what they say. They’ll let you down. There is no feat that everyday humans are capable of that can live up to the way you see someone you’d regard as a “hero”, so when you meet the real human incarnation of that person who you have placed on such a high pedestal, its supposed to be disappointing. Maybe they aren’t very nice in person. Maybe everything you believed to be true about them was actually wrong. Instead of doing a lot of charity work, they do a lot of smack. Instead of making people happy, they make a people go to Starbucks for them 12 times because their coffee “tastes like roasted underboob sweat”. Throwing the rejected cups in the vicinity of that persons dome in the process. Instead of putting smiles on peoples faces, they put a gym sock on their hand and stick it down peoples throats. Although for this person, those things are one and the same. The point is, if your hero is a famous person, there’s a good chance fame might have opened up and swallowed their decency. I could never imagine approaching my hero and being ignored. How awful that would feel. But I know that kind of thing has happened to people in the past and that just makes me incredibly thankful to have had my own personal hero live up to my lofty expectations for him. That man is of course, the hardcore legend and former 3 time WWE Champion. Mick Foley.
I’m going to write a big review of the SECC show so I won’t say too much about his role on the show here, but it didn’t feel real. To see the company that I’ve personally been immersed in for 3 years, which was started over 8 years ago in a community centre in Maryhill, grow to the point that selling out the SECC was a real thing, AND having my idol appear ON that show was….a lot. When he appeared I thought I’d cry but I just smiled and watched in awe. Like the first time my maw put the Summerslam 90 VHS on and I saw my first ever hero Hulk Hogan, battering a villainous big lump of a man called Earthquake with a chair (I don’t actually remember smiling the same way at this, but we’re adding colour to the story here…emotional depth)
He was there right in front of us all. Not just fulfilling a date on a tour either, he was there because he loves wrestling and believes ICW do it correctly. He was happy to be in front of 4,000 wrestling fans hanging off his every word, because that’s where he belongs. In front of people who appreciate his influence on wrestling and the sacrifices he made. In front of people who would rate meeting him as a lifetime highlight. I’m one of those people. Meeting him at all was an incredible experience, but being told by 3 or 4 people BEFORE meeting him that he had been speaking highly of ME was just. I can’t absorb that. That’s not supposed to happen. Your hero isn’t supposed to know who you are, far less appreciate your work.
He spoke passionately about how ICW produced memories that would last a lifetime, well Mick mate, you created a memory that I will literally tell everyone about. Mum, dad, other half, best pals, pals in general, their pals, their pals grannies, the guy who serves me at Greggs, the wuman who serves me at Greggs (I don’t even go tae Greggs that much, but I’ll start for this) any bus driver on any bus journey I ever go on from now until the day I die, I’m even gonnae tell Stone Cold Steve Austin because he needs to know. Everyone does. Even those dafties who think wrestling is a joke because when it creates something as real and emotionally significant as this. It has to matter. It has to be more than that. He finally created a moment that ranks up there with that moment he won the WWE Title from The Rock on RAW. That time WCW told their whole audience it was happening, almost mocking it, only to see that audience change the channel in unison to witness Mankind take the title. All he had to do to create a memory that ranks up there with that one is just speak to me for a few minutes.
Mick Foley is someone who inspired me to believe that if you do things differently, you can still succeed. If you do things the way you believe in doing them, you can get to unimaginable places and you can experience things that once never seemed possible. Like having an all-time wrestling legend who also happens to be the only person outwith your own parents that you’d ever call a “hero” give you 15 minutes of his time. After performing for 2 hours and doing a meet and greet for another 2 hours, he still gave me that time and the opportunity to write this article and I will never forget that for as long as I live. And while this is based off the wild assumption that he will read this and thus give me even more of his time, I would like to thank Mick Foley from the bottom of my heart for inspiring everything I do, and more importantly I’d like to thank him for giving exposure to my work and the opportunity to conduct an interview with him. In his honour I’ve decided to mirror his vow to only drop “one f-bomb per show” so for one article only, I will limit myself to one use of the f-bomb. C-bombs, b-bombs and p-grenades are fair game though. He opened the show with a line as humble as he is.
“I’m not gonna be as funny as Billy Kirkwood”
Mick Foley emerged after 20 minutes of Billy warming up the crowd and basically told them “see that guy, him with the mad hair that talks about willies and fandans a lot? he’s much better at this than me” The ultimate endorsement. Billy is a brilliant guy and was the first person involved in wrestling to tell people about my stuff, so I might have teared up a wee bit hearing that, even though I didn’t because I’m a man and we don’t do that. Mick Foley doesn’t call these shows stand-up comedy shows because he’s not a comedian. He’s an entertainer with a million stories that he tells in a very unique way, but he doesn’t have a big enough ego to put himself in the same bracket as someone like Billy Kirkwood who makes a living from making people laugh.
To balance all the Foley love out a wee bit, I’ll say he was spot on with that assessment. Billy was funnier than Mick, because he’s very good at what he does. A pish yer pants type of comedian. Mick Foley wasn’t there make anyone pish their pants. Mick Foley was there to captivate an audience of 200 or so people who were there absorb every word he said. A lot of those words formed to create stories that were f……..friggin hilarious (cheers to William Grange for the assist there, still got ma f-bomb) but it wasn’t a comedy show. It was a night to appreciate everything Mick Foley has given wrestling.
He said later in the show with a hint of very real sadness that Vince McMahon told him he no longer connected with the audience, well no offence to Vinny Mac. He obviously knows what he’s doing when it comes to wrestling, but he has never been more wrong with anything he’s ever said. People don’t buy books to read a man’s words, and buy tickets to hear a man speak if he no longer connects with them. The tickets for this show sold out in 5 hours and it didn’t have any sort of huge announcement. The show finished at around 11pm and I’d say at least 150 of the 200+ audience stayed for the meet and greet. A meet and greet where he handed out free signed pictures to show appreciation to the audience for coming out. Mate. You’re Mick Foley. You really don’t need to be appreciating us but I suppose him being the type of person who does do things like that was the reason we were all there in the first place.
Suppose I should talk about the interview itself eh? Well I had a wee list of topics I wanted to cover depending on how much time he had, and for some magical reason my brain pushed the most important questions to the front of the queue. It all happened very quickly so I forgot to glance at my notes before starting and all of a sudden there we were, and I had asked him for his impressions on Fear and Loathing 8, at the MOTHER-FU……NKING SOLD OUT SECC (still got that f-bomb in the holster)
“I was so impressed on so many levels. Not only from a wrestling standpoint, but more importantly from an emotional standpoint.” A point he drove home in his promo at the start of the show and during the show at The Stand was how much emotional investment there is in ICW and particularly in that main event. He even brought a very hungover Drew Galloway out to chat for 5 minutes and even he seemed overwhelmed to be on stage with Mick Foley, before speaking passionately about everything ICW is and how much he believes in Grado’s ability to take it forward, even if he doesn’t always believe in himself. Thoughts that were mirrored by Mick.
“Grado is an amazing character. Such a great story. I honestly didn’t think he could be as good as he was in the ring. I don’t know what went into the match itself, I only know what I saw, and not only was it a top notch wrestling match, but the emotion surrounding it made it special. I think it’ll go down as a match that people remember for decades”
“There are moments in wrestling that people remember for the rest of their lives, and that’s the goal you strive for. It’s the goal I used to strive for, and I think those guys succeeded. A certain percentage of people will remember that match for the rest of their lives”
Mick spoke during his show about how it was Drew Galloway who first alerted him to ICW, when he asked him to take a look at the promo he cut when he first returned to the company in 2014. He even included a disclaimer about the swearing knowing that it’s something Foley avoids doing if possible. Plenty of f-bombs, mother f-bombs, and f-bomb the polis in that one but Mick saw the passion. Drew had an energy about him that has not only helped propel his own career since he was released from WWE, but its helped push ICW to the next level and having a figure like that to carry your title and defend it so impressively all over the country is exactly what ICW needed to have. It would take an impressive big ride of a man like Drew to provide an opponent worthy of that moment. The villain who was born with all the genetic gifts and talent in the world, against the hero with the wee belly, lion-sized heart and tremendous patter. Drew’s role in making that moment special was not understated by Foley. While he had to shuffle down the ramp without the acclaim from the crowd and Foley himself, he was as big a part of that moment as anyone.
“It was an exclamation point on the Drew Galloway resume. If I was Triple H or Vince McMahon I’d be on the phone to him right now if I’m honest with you. To have a guy that can help build a promotion, who can also tell and story and execute that story in the ring. I think ICW are very lucky to have him”
While that is no doubt true, you could say the same vice versa. Drew Galloway could have gone the same way as other talents WWE have released. Taking any booking under the sun and not really trying to make a mark on the wrestling landscape. Trying to get by more than anything. Drew needed something more. He needed to pull on his size (probably) 15 boots and stamp his foot on that landscape while shouting “I might not be on RAW playing air guitar anymore, but I fu…….lly matter. And I WILL be heard” ICW was the perfect place for him to make that impact. In front of a crowd that would most definitely react the way the promo was supposed to make them react. That was why it captivated Foley, because that sort of involvement from a crowd is so rare. It no doubt brings back memories of those special times in his own career where every single person in the building was invested and right now, there is no better wrestling company in the world at getting that type of reaction than ICW.
“I think Grado and Drew did a particularly good job of recapturing that energy that was spent over the 3 hours of the show. People had seen a lot, and been through a lot. With the cage match and everything else. So for those guys to come through, in a match that didn’t have stipulations…..”
Mick paused for a second, with a genuine look of pride on his face that he came to Scotland a saw two guys from the same town create a match that was so absorbing. Lost for words. If there’s any higher praise for a wrestling match than “had Mick Foley lost for words” god knows what it is (see that would have been an f-bomb there, but we’re saving it mate…wait for it) That wasn’t the highest praise he had for it though…
“It was impressive beyond my abilities to explain how impressive it was. It reminded me a lot of Ric Flair v Dusty Rhodes 1985. With Grado as the every-man, who is just over to a crazy extent, and Drew was just so impressive. Its high praise to put them up there, but I think you could go there”
When I suggested Grado is almost the Scottish version of Dusty, Mr Foley seemed to approve. I know the comparisons have been drawn before but I don’t know if its had someone with such an undeniable impact on wrestling rubber-stamp it. If Grado ever thinks he hasn’t earned that title, as Drew touched on himself when he spoke. He’s the draw. Drew might have piqued the interest of a lot of wrestling fans when he returned, but Grado gets the man from the street off his arse to buy a ticket to ICW. Creating an atmosphere that’s more akin to the days of Dusty and Flair where most, if not ALL of the crowd had no idea wrestling was pre-determined, and were fully invested in the everymans genuine attempts to overcome the polished, slick . When Grado pinned Drew Galloway, people reacted like their favourite football team had just won the ICW title. Or eh….their favourite wrestler just scored the winning goal in the World Cup final…or…eh..naw wait..I’ll get it this time….
THEY REACTED LIKE GRADO HAD JUST WON THE ICW TITLE. BECAUSE GRADO HAD JUST WON THE FUCKING ICW TITLE. REJOICE!
Towards the end of the show, Foley noticed someone in the audience wearing Bayleys “I’m a hugger” t-shirt in the crowd and went on to speak fondly about his interactions with some of the women currently at WWE. Recalling a story of when his illusions about Sasha Banks and her character were shattered when she showed him a pic of a much younger, intimidated version of the “boss” posing with Mick many years ago. Something that showed him the person behind the character and really made her click with him. A moment that was no doubt repeated with every person he met last night, and a photo they recreated recently, just as Bayley approached Mick and he unwittingly pushed her out the way to get the photo with Sasha. An act he recalls with a laugh, although I doubt Bayley was offended. Any story of any interaction with Mick Foley is a decent one. Even if its “Mick Foley punched me in the mouth and called my mother a whore” its still a story involving Mick Foley doing something with you. Maybe add “then we went for ice cream” after the punching part though. Makes it sound a bit more of a Foley thing to do.
He spoke passionately about womens wrestling, and his unsuccessful attempts to woo the Bella Twins maw; bemoaning the fact that John Lauranitis took her away from him. I asked what he thought of the 3 way dance to crown the first ever ICW Women’s Champion. Having imposed his will on the match by inserting Viper into it at the very last moment.
“Mark (Dallas) came to me right after I cut my in-ring promo and told me I could go back to my dressing room and relax, or do whatever I wanted to do and I said ‘no….I’m gonna stay right here and watch everything I can’ and I was really impressed with not only the performance of the women in the ring…but the reaction of the crowd”
“There’s a tendency for people to compare ICW’s crowd, to ECW crowds in the mid 1990s, but I don’t know that the ECW crowds of that time would have given the women the same amount of respect. Their reaction to Viper when I came out and put her in the match was huge. I had to go back and ask someone what her back story was. As a guy who grew up being heavy set, and grew up being teased for being heavy set. I always worry about the public’s acceptance of larger individuals. They told me about her promo on the British Bootcamp show TNA did, and it made me think it may have been more successful in creating stars in Scotland than it was for TNA”
“It gave them a great platform for people to learn about the passion the wrestlers have, and I think ICW have been the main beneficiaries of that. But yeah….I really enjoyed the womens match. Another thing I never get tired of people appreciating me watching the matches backstage. Thats always a good thing.”
It shouldn’t be forgotten that for a lot of the performers on the show, meeting Mick Foley was as big a deal to them as it was to me. It raised a smile with Mrs Foleys baby boy (thats a cheap pop eh? I’ll only use it once, promise) when he spoke of his love for wrestlers almost being humbled at him watching their match. Jack Jester appeared at the show to ask a question and basically thanked Foley for being the reason he wanted to be a wrestler, and there’s so many people like that who maybe felt “different” and saw Mick Foley as the high priest of being a wee bit odd. ICW is the home of “different” in wrestling right now and it seems more than apt that Mick Foley slotted in to the show like he’d been there all along. He brought Mark Dallas on stage at one point and told us all the reason they shared a prolonged hug before Mick cut his promo. He pulled Dallas in close, looked deep into his eyes and asked “Mark….what am I supposed to say” Even a guy who’s seen and done it all forgot his line on the big stage, but as soon as Dallas prompted him, off he went. Dallas was on stage again later to give the best Vince McMahon impression I’ve ever heard. Well the voice was awrite, but the mannerisms were pure and utter Vince.
Mick went on to explain the next steps in his career. Revealing that the one man show’s will be less frequent in 2016.
“I’m probably going to stop doing the one man show’s around March, for the rest of the year. I’ll just be taking a break to concentrate on other things. I’m gonna do a few more wrestling appearances too”
While Foley has made an undoubted impression on audiences of all descriptions, its continued interest from wrestling fans that have made his foray into the one-man shows a successful one, as I asked how he sees himself as a performer now. More of an all-round entertainer, or a wrestling personality.
“I think its hard to separate the two. If I was drawing 50% wrestling fans, and 50% fans of my spoken words, then I could say there was a distance between them. Regardless of whether I do a wrestling appearance, or an appearance at a comic book convention, or even at my own shows. Its mainly a wrestling audience. I’m very thankful to the dedication of the people that watched me when they were children”
Decent time to break this out I suppose. A picture of me when I was 11, wearing a halloween costume that was comprised of one of my dads shirts, an auld pair of brown leggings my mum had, a wig probably made of dug hair and a mask made by a friend of my mums. Here’s the entirely haunting image of me dressed as Mankind. Also probably breaking the record for different kinda of horrendous wallpaper captured in one picture. Don’t worry, I still live here, but I made sure we got better decorators over the past 15 years.
Everybody loves Christmas. Except for the folk who are of other religions, or the folk who just plain don’t like it, but “everybody loves Christmas” makes for better reading, so we’ll go with that. Mick Foley loves Christmas more than you though. Mick Foley is currently undergoing a lifelong process to eventually morph into a real life Santa Claus, and he spoke about Christmas with as much passion as a lot of the wrestling things he spoke about. I had 15 minutes with Mick Foley and I never asked him about Hell In A Cell, or being the WWE Champion, or even being chucked directly into a barbed wire and explosives. I asked him “why dae you love Christmas mate?” Because the people need to know.
“I guess its a deep seeded thing. I’ve loved for as long as I remember, and I think there is a parallel between the years I’ve spent in the ring and the time I’ve spent in the red suit as ambassador for Father Christmas, and that if you do everything right…you can take someone to a really special place. I think that place, is a memory in the parents mind. If you can take them back to when they felt happiest as a child. You’ve done your job.”
“People think its for the kids, but its about the parents. They’re the ones with the huge smile. When I make the Christmas Eve visits, you can see grown people cry. That’s when you know you’re doing your job right ”
I remarked that Mick had done that at the SECC when he came out and there was a genuine burst of appreciation for that comment. The fact that me saying that to him meant anything is the reason he DOES still connect with the audience and will never stop connecting with them, because he actually gives a fu……..(ah I’ve used my f-bomb eh? och fuck it, I shouldn’t try to imitate a legend anyway so we’ll drop a few more) he actually gives a fuck if he entertains you or not. He didn’t come here to make the show about him, he came here to restore the balance between good and evil. Drew was flanked by the evil genius ICW GM Red Lightning, and a right bad yin in Jack Jester, so Grado needed a squad of goodies to counteract the baddies. He had Big Damo taking care of Jester, but Grado needed someone with authority that was a big enough hero to counteract Red Lightning’s villainous ways and Mick Foley served that purpose.
For the last question I had to ask if he’ll be gracing us with his presence again, and while no definitive answer was forthcoming, the feeling amongst everyone who was there that night, and Mick himself is that it went very well and we may very well have not seen the last of Mrs Foleys baby boy (ok, maybe I’ll use it twice…this is the last time though, I swear) on these shores. If Vince McMahon still thinks Mick Foley no longer connects with the audience, he should ask any of the 50 odd people still queueing to meet him after midnight last night if he still connects with them. People missing last buses and trains home just to steal the tiniest moment of his time. I’ll forever be extremely thankful that he saw me worthy to give me a full 15 minutes of it. Thank you Mick. For everything.
Credit as always to David J.Wilson for the wonderful photos.
If you liked this and want to read more things of this nature, well tbh I don’t interview people like Mick Foley often, but there’s other good stuff on the site about all things wrestling. Particularly ICW and British Wrestling in general.
Thanks for reading!
Look at that photo above. BT Gunn planted face down. Beaten, battered and torn to shreds by his own flesh and blood. This isn’t another Wolfgang vs BT hype up article btw, I think we covered that yesterday. It’s just an example of something I’ve firmly believed for the best part of 10 years in wrestling, and something I’d proudly tell anyone who asked for my irrelevant opinion on it. Kayfabe is fucking dead. Good riddance to the fucker as well.
If that shit startles you, hear me out. A wee glance at that photo above would indicate that Chris Renfrew is out for Wolfgang’s blood. Wolfgang isn’t in shot, but he was the man responsible for leaving Renfrews brother face down on the canvas, unable to properly fill his lungs with oxygen. Burst. This wee image would have you believe Wolfgang and Renfrew truly hate each other with a burning passion eh? Well guess what, they fucking don’t. They’re pals and that’s what wrestling is now. That’s what you have to able to separate. Being 100% invested in the show that you came to see, whilst having the ability to separate the show from real life. By all means lose your shit when you’re at a show/watching a show. The more shit lost the better, but for me it’s far more enjoyable to be able to suspend disbelief for 2-4 hours at a time, fully buy into the shows, and have an understanding of what makes it all tick the rest of the time. Let yourself be worked by these cunts. Its what they do best. Dont sit on the fucking internet and talk about buy rates, and what champion drew more than another one, because guess fucking what, its none of our business. You’re a wrestling fan. I’m a wrestling fan. Our one and only role in this industry is to be fans. We are not analysts, either financial or otherwise. We’re fucking dolts and if the wrestlers know what they’re doing, they’ll have us eating out of the palm of their evil hands. If they choose not to keep that act up in their spare time? So fuck.
Being a wrestler pre late 1990s seemed fucking exhausting to me. Always having to be “on”. It would have been entirely unnatural and pretty fuckin weird if kayfabe continued to be as strong as it once was. There’s no need any more for best pals to stop travelling together because they’re involved in a bitter feud. There’s no need for the villains to be snuck out the back of the building. It’s antiquated, and more than a bit daft to expect people to keep living 100% of their lives as a wrestling character these days. That where the line between character and person gets blurry, and people start to fall apart. They start to forget what one they are from night to-night. Modern wrestling allows people to be people, and still give their all to the wrestling character they portray.
Take a wee look at that image now. Compare it to the one at the top. That’s Triple H going over to a child who he made cry at RAW last night, apologising to him and giving him a wee pat on the heid. He then arranged for the boy to go backstage to meet his heroes after the show. Years ago this wouldn’t be allowed at all, and would probably have got Triple H fined, no matter what corporate role he holds with the company. I don’t believe Triple H broke kayfabe at all though, I think kayfabe died a long time ago, and what Triple H done was an example of why modern-day wrestling is a better, more free-flowing form of entertainment than it was back in the days of people having to hide friendships to keep up appearances. I will say one thing for the wee man, he needs tae grow a set. Does he not know all of this is fake? Fuckin calm it Janet. Seriously though, I’ve never ever subscribed to this idea that kids are fair game in terms of verbal insults (not saying that’s how Trips caused the tears btw) being slung at them by villains.
Children are sensitive souls, and the daftest wee thing can affect them in the hugest way. I’ve seen 2 or 3 wrestlers calling weans fat, and making fun of their appearance generally at shows, and I don’t understand it. What the fuck is that? Is that supposed to be clever? A child comes to a show, maybe getting bullied at school, or doesn’t have any pals. The show is a wee escape. Maybe they don’t even have a shite life at all. Maybe they’re popular as fuck and always get picked first for fitba. The point is. That throwaway bit of verbal abuse could stay with that child a long time. Most of them will laugh it off, but I don’t think any sort of performer has the right to make a child make that sort of decision. Scare the wee yins all you want. Jester is fucking brilliant at that. Don’t be cruel. Imagine how you’d feel if you showed up at the wrestling as a youngster. Excited about it for months. Kitted out in all the gear, juice, sweeties, a wee programme. Good times….
Then The Great Khali stoats oot, picks you up be the throat and calls you a “tiny wee bawbag” and stuffs you in the nearest bin. How the fuck would you feel? Not good. I’m away on a tangent here, but the point I’m getting at is that Triple H is a father. Triple H is not a man who enjoys seeing children cry, nor does he enjoy being responsible for doing it, so see if he wants to break character, and give the young yin a hug and say sorry? More power too the big beaked bastion of batterings. I have never respected Triple H more than I did in that moment, because he knew it could get him into trouble, and he knew a lot of IWC neckbeard basement dwellers would have an issue with it, but he didn’t give a fuck. He went ahead and done it anyway. Fuck you if you’ve got a problem with it. If I was Paul Levesque and I fancied getting a decent nights sleep every now and again, I would apologise to all the children I made cry by being a dirty villainous bastard as well, because at the end of the day, life’s too fucking short for wrestling to be everything. It should be an escape from the grind for people of all ages. Mentally manipulate the ones big enough and old enough to know they’re being manipulated all you fucking like, but if you make a child cry and you’re any sort of person you’ll apologise and no one on this earth should have a problem with that.
Wrestling isn’t everything. Kayfabe is now a tool to be used rather than the thing this whole wrestling business is based on. Either enjoy wrestling as it currently is, with all the different aspects that can make it brilliant (even things like social media interaction with the right sort of people is a huge plus) or get the WWE Network and watch “the good old days” all you fucking want. Please don’t bother the rest of us with your out of date wanky “opinions” though. So to any neckbeard fandan reading this thinking im out of order, your opinion is indeed a bit like your arsehole. Hairy, sweaty and full of fucking shite.
Drew Galloway is here. Continue reading