AEW Dynamite Homecoming Review

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AEW Dynamite “Homecoming” Results for August 4, 2021

How is it you review wrestling again? I used to have a whole system but its been a while. 30 was a distant disaster when I last done this and now I’m 32 and my beards greyer than Liam Thomsons but I’ve liked what I’ve seen from Dynamite in the past few weeks as I’ve caught up on about 30 months of wrestling (by not watching any of it) in the home of the two greatest professional wrestlers Scotland has ever produced. So listen. Here’s a review of a wrestling show. It’ll probably be pish but the show wasn’t so you should still check it out despite the nonsense you’re about to be subjected to.

The show started with a match I last seen happen as an 8 or 9 year old. That’s pretty fuckin cool. Not as cool as Juventud Guerrera is/has always been, but cool nonetheless.

Chris Jericho vs Juventud Guerrera (Jericho can only win with a move from the top rope, a feat he fast achieved roughly 3 months before his first tour with Fozzy)

The match wasn’t yer classic throwback to the past. They’ve both lost several steps. But it was classy in its own way and put so much importance on the history of it and the allure mad Juvi has always had. Jericho prevailed after a match that largely existed on the ground with a mad fling back elbow off the top which to be fair was executed beautifully and looked worthy of winning any match. 7 out of 8 stars for the match.

Then a big massive dude called Wardlow came out and panned everyones melt in. Jericho. Juvi. Yer auld Da. JR. Brony Shiavione. The whole team. Before his boss let everyone know the the 4th “Labour of Jericho” would be a match with Wardlow. With MJF as the referee. I’m nae expert here right, but im assuming the three gets counted by someone else while MJF is busy verbally berating anyone within 100 feet of him with a disability. Any easy target really. Thats his wheelhouse. Also fuck MJF.

Hangman Page Is Depressed

He feels like he’s messed things up for his boys and himself. I’ve been there Adam ma man. It go go one of two ways. Either yer boys see the drinking and the despair and run a fuckin mile or they come through for you and The Dark Order seem like ride or die homies. Knock that depression out the park and help elevate your weird and wonderful pals mate. Its the right call

Jon Moxley, Darby Allin and Eddie Kingston vs Danny Garcia and 2.0

Really entertaining wee scrap from start to finish. Love that three established dudes were in there with an unsigned tag team and a young gun who can go and the match felt even. Full of patter as well. Moxley his the Paradigm Switch and Darby fell off the top rope for the win. All in all an entertaining wee patch of wrasslin.

Christian Cage vs The Blade

So WWE had first refusal of `my man Christian and….well clearly they refused. Nonsense. Wouldn’t matter if yer man was 55 and had two bum knees, he’s pure class and makes everyone in with him look shit hot. Always has. The Blade shocked the world by producing brass knuckles instead of a lockback but Christian caught him with a spear to finish the job. Enjoyed him using the spear to finish this off as well because he does it better than his best pal. Sorry Edgeheads but he does. He kinda does everything better than Edge other than being tall. Adam definitely has the Edge when it comes to that (ha ha haaaa, get it? the Edge?)

The Elite Shoot Hoops

I’m no entirely sure where this happened on the show but it did happen and Kenny Omega can BALL. Honestly. Chicago Bulls have offered him a contract but he’ll only go if Hangman plays for a rival team and the Bullls are always booked to lose. Don’t think he really gets professional sports but he is mad handsome so life is mostly upsides if you’re Kenny Omega.

Miro vs Lee Johnson

It was troubling to hear big Miro wasn’t being used much in AEW to start with but this whole thing with him as TNT Champion has been shit hot. He looks and speaks like a killer and despite this match being largely competiitve he absolutely murked Lee Johnson with a sexy version of his auld finisher where he rolls out of the Camel Clutch into a snug as fuck chokehold situation. There’s little about big Miro that isn’t snug and I’m here for it. All of it. Give him all the belts tomorrow.

Bunny vs Legit Leyla Hirsch

There was a wee moment of cringe when Hirsch performed a very dfifuclt move jumping off one rope to another and missed Bunny entirely but that aside it was good shit. I’m no big on highlghting errors but it was glaring and this new style of reviewing will not be leaving out any glaring errors like I used to every time I reviewed a Chris Renfrew match. I’d have had a pop at Euan G Mackie here as well but I’ve never reviewed one of his matches because hes never been booked on a show I was at. Well he was once and him and his pal got bombed out it was so rotten. Sidebar aside, Hirsch now has a shot at the NWA Women’s Title which is nice for her. Hope she wins it as shes game as fuck and won with a really nice rolling armbar.

Malachi Black vs Cody

Lovely stuff from start to finish. Folk have a pop at Cody like he hasnt put over and elevated every single talent he’s been in with in AEW. Really is nitpicking to be looking at that guy and seeing a problem. He gave up a job for life and financial security to help change wrestling for the better and who can argue hes achieved that? When they sent NXT and all its talent to match up with Dynamite there was only going to be one winner because only one show is ran by people with HUNGER. Dynamite isn’t perfect but its full of talent looking to be their best selves and they aren’t being written into a corner they cant get out of by people who wouldn’t know how to book wrestling if they could summon the ghost of Codys Da. Look at the difference between 2018-2018 Dean Ambrose and the absolute boss Jon Moxley is and tell me talent shouldn’t have creative freedom.

Black sent Cody through a table and he somehow beat the 10 count only to eat a Black Mass to the jaw to put him down for the three. This is the type of shit tht should be main eventing your flagship show. A well worked match between two of the best going that still leaves it wide open to more matches between the two and a lot of success for Black going forward. Cody gets on the mic after and makes out likes he’s retiring before Black leathers him again. One more match? Aye probably eh

Overall I’d give this show 100 stars because Juventud Guerrera was on it. Thanks for reading. Don’t call it a comeback.

WWE Raw Review – 30/06/2014 (By Connie Williams)

RAW IS WAR BAYBAY. It’s no war, there’s nae war to fight. It’s just Raw. Trips and Steph make their way out looking fab. Steph, waw, she is killing it as per. In her sexy wee suits with her heely expressions. If you look up the definition of goddess in the dictionary it will say Steph Omac. I am most certainly not making that up. Steph says some things about Rollins, bigging him up and reflecting on his Connecticut roots(Raws in Connecticut the night btw). Continue reading

WWE RAW Review – 23/06/2014

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Here’s the thing guys. I really fuckin liked RAW last week. Hunners and millions. The most complete RAW in months if ye ask me. A belter. So that made me think a wee bit so it did. I’m no a big fan of thinking. It gets in the way of havering shite, and living haphazardly, but aye. I was thinking, if I really liked the show, and I really like writing, why the fuck wis I no buzzing tae get a review done right away? Last year, if RAW was properly good, I’d either start writing right after the show finished, or first thing the next morning. Yet here I sit, 3 hours before MITBs due tae start, n there’s still nae review for the final RAW before it, then it fuckin clicked.

Guys. I think I fell outta love wae reviewing RAW. 😮

Or maybe it fell out of love wae me? I dunno. Its been a year and a bit that I’ve been reviewing this shit, and that amount of exposure tae me tends tae turn folk sour, so maybe its more a case of it getting sick of me than me getting sick of it, but I’ll tell ye whit I’m gonnae dae. I’m gonnae try and get the love back. I’m gonnae review it a bit differently this week and gush about the many positives that the show contained. Straight up fuckin leakin aw the positive vibes, all over you and that sexy boady of yours. Mess ye right up. Ye intae it? I know I’m intae it. Typed myself intae quite the frenzy here, so lets get tae it. Its about ta get NAWTY.

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WWE RAW Review 16/06/2014

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Made a right song and dance about last weeks RAW Review eh? Kinda hard tae live uptae that in some ways. Namely me no really giving that much of a fuck about it this week. I started with that mindset anyway, and then the show only went and gave me numerous stauners, and sare heids wae the sheer activity of it.

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WWE RAW Review 09/06/2014 – SPECIAL EDITION, BIRTHDAY N THAT

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WWE RAW Review 02/06/2014 (by Connie Williams)

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Its Raw time bitches. It’s no really because I’m writing this review a few days after. Let’s pretend. Pretending is fun. See, this paticular Raw had me baffled, I didn’t understand because 1. it was the most mediocre Raw of the year and 2. It was the most thrilling tragically beautiful Raw of the year. How can a show be both these things? I don’t know how, but it happened. Vince must have been like ‘right boays, let’s make everyhin shit, cept the last few minutes, we’ll make that gid’. That’s truly what I believe happened. I won’t give the surprise away in case you’re the only person in the whole world who never saw what happened.

Beak, Nae eyes and dunderheed aka Evolution are out to cut a promo. Trips says the shieldsies think they won, but Evolution will continue to fight until they ceast to exist. Batista’s no chuffed though, he’s wanting to know when he’ll get his title shot that Trips promised him, says he’s sick of the Shieldsies. Trips reminds him that he is the leader, but Batista doesn’t care, he wants his title shot tonight. Trips tells him wee Dbrys injured. He says Batista won’t want to be remembered as a guy who can’t end a fight and once they take the shieldsies down, he can have whatever he wants but until then no one is getting anything. Batista quits, does a wee wave and walks out. Trips is raging, tells him to run back to Hollywood but not to return when he flops.

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WWE RAW Review 25/05/2014

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RAW is the same show every fuckin week lately, and I’m getting sick bothering my arse aboot it. Don’t mistake this kinda grumpy start as the tone of this review eh? I’ll make it as sunny and hilarious as humanly possible as we go on, but I’d like tae say right away, that its gettin extremely difficult tae pretend tae be invested in RAW as a weekly show, when its full of the same shite. Same injustices. Same everythin, different toon. Yer client Brock Lesner conquered the streak, Daniel Bryan might get fucked over, and will certainly get a doing aff Kane. Big E and his marvellous bouncy chebs remains underutilised. Drew Mcintyre remains in the best shape of his life, so he can job to various Mexicans of various statures, and fuckin Batista. Aw the time. Batista in ma face wae his stupid tattoos and popsocks. I hate ye Dave. Ye’ve got considerably fitter and more able in the ring wae every passing week since yer comeback and I still hate ye wae a fiery passion. Fuck ye and yer permanently mistimed shanner of a spear.

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WWE RAW Review 12/05/2014

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Dean Ambrose.

Rock tha Micra-phone.

Stereo…with the Dean Ambrose

When RAW starts wae Dean Ambrose on the mic, RAW starts aff properly. RAW starts aff the way god intended. His words weren’t spectacular. He told us The Shield are up more than they’re down, which is quite obviously a reference tae whit kinda swedge they’re intae, but he delivers the words in a way that makes me wantae tattoo his name on the back of my haun and go about slapping folk tae they get the message. Dean Ambrose is the guy. He will have justice one day.

Justice for Ambrose

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