RAW IS WAR BAYBAY. It’s no war, there’s nae war to fight. It’s just Raw. Trips and Steph make their way out looking fab. Steph, waw, she is killing it as per. In her sexy wee suits with her heely expressions. If you look up the definition of goddess in the dictionary it will say Steph Omac. I am most certainly not making that up. Steph says some things about Rollins, bigging him up and reflecting on his Connecticut roots(Raws in Connecticut the night btw). Continue reading
I’ve wanted to write a wee opinion piece on TNA for a while, and now is that time. I’m not really sure where to start, I’ll just go with the flow and see where it takes me.
Its Raw time bitches. It’s no really because I’m writing this review a few days after. Let’s pretend. Pretending is fun. See, this paticular Raw had me baffled, I didn’t understand because 1. it was the most mediocre Raw of the year and 2. It was the most thrilling tragically beautiful Raw of the year. How can a show be both these things? I don’t know how, but it happened. Vince must have been like ‘right boays, let’s make everyhin shit, cept the last few minutes, we’ll make that gid’. That’s truly what I believe happened. I won’t give the surprise away in case you’re the only person in the whole world who never saw what happened.
Beak, Nae eyes and dunderheed aka Evolution are out to cut a promo. Trips says the shieldsies think they won, but Evolution will continue to fight until they ceast to exist. Batista’s no chuffed though, he’s wanting to know when he’ll get his title shot that Trips promised him, says he’s sick of the Shieldsies. Trips reminds him that he is the leader, but Batista doesn’t care, he wants his title shot tonight. Trips tells him wee Dbrys injured. He says Batista won’t want to be remembered as a guy who can’t end a fight and once they take the shieldsies down, he can have whatever he wants but until then no one is getting anything. Batista quits, does a wee wave and walks out. Trips is raging, tells him to run back to Hollywood but not to return when he flops.
I’d have ate cat shite, dug shite, human shite. Any shite, to have been in attendance at either Global Wars or War of the Worlds. I’m not fond of shite by the way, the ppv’s were just astonishing in every way shape and form, that eating shite to be there in person would 100% be worth it. It’s taken me daaaaays to review both ppv’s. I like to think I’m pretty good at knowing my wrestling moves, but after viewing both these shows and attempting to review them I realised I’m quite pish.
I know some people have yet to see either of the ppv’s and my advice to you, as a friend is GET THEM WATCHED. Global Wars was the first of two shows co produced by ROH and NJPW. When I heard the news that this was happening I knew I had to watch it. Nothing could stand in my way. So far I’ve watched both Global Wars and WOTW 3 times each just to try and take it all in. I still haven’t. Let us begin.
I was hoping for more wrestling this week. There wasn’t. I was hoping for less talk. There wasn’t. Basically I was wishing for a great degree of change from last week’s show and there just wasn’t. It’s a sad state of affairs. Fret not as I’m here to hold your hand and guide you through this week’s edition of Impact, I’ll make it that wee bit more bearable.
Ahh Smackdown, mind how gid a show it used to be? Every saturday morning on sky 1, cereal in hand and butterflies in belly. It was all I looked forward to. But things change. And changed they certainly have. Lately Smackdown offers nothing, it appeals to me zero. I attempt to watch, I try so very hard but I usually pick my phone up and search pictures of Ambrose pierced ear instead. But, and here is where I contradict myself, this week’s show was good, really good. It was a packed with ACTUAL WRESTLING. Who’d a though it eh?
When a show opens with a delightful match it really makes life that wee bit better.
That’s right, a sad face. A sad face because Impact is shite. I’ve been a devoted TNA fan since day one. I was proud of that company. I believed in that company. Now throughout a show I contemplate melting down some gold and pouring the burning liquid into my eyes. I lost all hope a few months back. I hated the direction it was going in. I hated how the wrestlers were being treated so I stopped watching. But I decided to well, catch up. Why did I do that? Why didn’t someone warn me. With that being said if you try really very hard to block out the sheer cringe worthy parts of the show you’ll actually find some delightful bits of wrestling here and there. Is it worth it? Probably not…
I suppose I should tell you about the show? You’ve probably stopped reading after the sad face. I’m probably talking to myself right now. I don’t blame you.