SWA Clan Wars 2014 Review

whipjoe

SWA made their return to the Motherwell Concert Hall to celebrate their 10 year anniversary, after a hugely successful night at the venue for Battlezone. At that event, Scotland’s premier suplex slinger and lariat chucker Joe Coffey won a 30 man rumble to earn a shot at the Scottish Heavyweight Title. It was only fitting that the scene of that triumph would be the venue where Joe would look to see it bear fruits, as he would cash in his title shot and challenge Mikey Whiplash for the Title inside a Steel Cage. Whilst that eye watering, baw tingling prospect was undoubtedly the highlight, the whole card was stacked with the very best homegrown talent, with some intriguing singles matches, a tag title match and a couple of elimination tag matches to go with the Steel Cage match, it was a card with a bit of everything

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ICW Still Smokin Review

ss

“Tell us the whole fuckin story!”

The line which started the evenings festivities off would become the unachievable goal. How the fuck can ye put the events of that show intae words that accurately depict the organised chaos that unfolded? Ye just cannae. I’ll dae my fuckin best, don’t get me wrang, but it aw went by in a beautiful haze tae me. I don’t think anyone in that building on Sunday night wisnae utterly gripped by fuckin….everything. Every wrestling show I’ve seen until last night had some sort of lull. Even if its brief, there’s ALWAYS somethin that makes ye think “wish they’d hurry this up” but that lull didnae exist on Sunday night. All that existed was a permanent rush, and people occasionally collapsing wae pish runnin doon their legs in excitement/shock/abject horror. Wrestling is beautiful. Wrestling should be yer happy place. If it isnae…make it yer happy place. Make ICW and Scottish Wrestling in general yer happy place.

The evening began wae a quick brief from ICWs top brass. The guys in black suits that’ve swung mare golf clubs at baws than Tiger Woods. ICW owner Mark Dallas, his chief lieutenant Chris Conscience, Sweeney and various other hired killers. One of the men in the ring was former ICW roster member and resident ‘bag ah washin’ Jamie Feerick, who was there tae plead for a return to the fold, and was swiftly bounced oot the ring by Sweeney, flung wae such venom that he when he stood up he found himself at the bar in Box orderin himsell a Jackie Polo tae calm doon. The main point in the whole saga was for Dallas tae reveal that ICW will be running shows at Studio 24 in Edinburgh EVERY FUCKIN SUNDAY during the fringe, meaning along wae getting tae see aw yer usual homegrown talents, ye get a weekly fix of a certain Mr Cabana. I’d imagine a lot of Glaswegian kidneys will be going on the black market around that time cause we’ll aw be in dire need of cash if we’re moving tae Edinburgh, unless somecunts got a mile long couch we can aw kip on.

Aye so…after that there happened tae be a wrestling show, and it was a wee bit special

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