ICW Fight Club Review – (May 13th show. Renfrew vs Grado)

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OH ITS HAPPENING. ITS DAMN HAPPENING! Naw that’s not it, haud on. YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE OLYMPIC GOLD TRUTH! Naw wait, that’s not it either, ffs. ITS TRUE, ITS DAMN TRUE! That’s the sweet spot right there. ITS ANGLE! ITS KURT ANGLE. Even better mate. The point is, as revealed by Kenny “The Managers Bollocks” Williams, via a certain Mr Mick Foley (once interviewed on Snapmare Necks.com, in case you hadn’t heard) Kurt Angle will be appearing on the Hydro show. Red Lightning was already in the ring when Kenny burst on the scene with nothing but a tie and 3-4 bottles of baby oil covering his upper torso to reveal that Mick Foley had sent a memo to him revealing that Angle was in for the Hydro. People were proper losing their shit for this yin. Throwing their children in the air only for them to be caught and escorted out by security. Over 18s show pal, don’t bring or throw your children here ever again. Red wasn’t pleased and threatened to throw us all out on numerous occasions, because he’s very good at his job, and that gives him the ability to someow not seem totally buzzin about the prospect of being on a show with 11,000 spectators watcing and KURT FUCKIN ANGLE doing a wee wrestle. Speaking of wee wrestles. This show had a few of them.

Wolfgang vs Kenny Williams 

Kenny might be the bollocks, but 9 times out of 10 if a pair of bollocks does a suicide dive on to a Wolf while that Wolf is still stoatin’ down to the ring, it doesn’t end well for the bollocks. That’s pure scientific fact right there and after some early hi-jinks Wolfie took his revenge by chucking Kenny in the crowd and snarling at anyone in the front row who he deemed to have the capacity to feel happiness.  It was the usual mixture of sexy flying back elbows and Wolfy lifting Kenny over his heid with varying degrees of success before Kenny bust out a beautiful Frankensteiner with the aid of a wee bit of springboard action. Wolfy planted Kenny right on his face with a sit out face/gut/spirit buster soon after,  ten missed a swanton while giving the fans the finger in mid air, that’s karma for being a flying cheeky bastard but at the same time managing to swear at cunts while being an 18 stone man who can actually fly is an act of bad-ass-ness regardless of how it ended up. Lionheart appeared to distract Kenny it was time for the Wolf to go full Goldberg. Catching Kenny with a spear as he was going for a springboard suhin, before finishing the job with the Jackhammer. Entertaining contest as always between the these two. Kenny for me is at his very best when its a right big cunt in there with him and he needs to go all road runner on them and basically run round them in circles until they get dizzy and lose via TKI. Totally kunted it.

Lionheart (c) vs Zack Gibson (ICW Zero-G Title Match) 

Lionheart’s been killing it lately, and if you read that and thought to yersell “naw he fuckin husnae, he’s a fanny!” that’s precisely WHY he’s killing it right now. Because he turned a song calling him a fanny into a positive. Not many folk could do that. Not many folk could stoat out in front of 1,400 folk calling him a fanny in unison at the Barras and leave with a shiny belt and the biggest “fuck the whole fuckin lot of you cunts” grin on his coupon. Team Believe was replaced long ago by Team Selfies Wae Yer Dug, but Team Believe Lionheart has nae belts, whereas Team Fanny Lionheart has the Zero-G so who’s winning really? The guy who had fans, or the guy who has the gold and disnae give a fuck what you think?

After a cracker of a match with Lewis Girvan 2 weeks earlier, Hearto would have a task keeping the belt off Zack Gibson. The Scouse Spine Shatterer is a guy who must be considered a regular member of the ICW roster now after impressing in every match he’s had with the company so far. He’s too fuckin good not to be. This didn’t get a huge amount of time but they battered each other sufficiently with the time they had. Gibson displayed his deceptive agility with a mad jawbreaker off the top rope as part of a well worked finishing  sequence that had a succession of crackin superkicks from Hearto before a swift sleekit thumb to the eye, superkick and rock bottom combo put Gibson away. Wee bit of a surprise that Lionheart won relatively clean (well a thumb in the eye in ICW terms is still quite clean, maybe if it was a thumbtack thumb to the eye it would be a different story and we’d be calling big Scouse Zack “Wan Eye” Gibson) but it was another showing from Gibson that will have done him no harm in the long term. But in the short term…nae belts for you. Not yet anyway. Lionheart continues to lord it over each and every one of us, but the next defence is against one of the very best in the land and a man who needs one belt to complete the ICW triple crown. BT….BT…..BT FUCKIN….ach ye know the rest.

The 55 vs The New Nation (ICW Tag Title Tournament Match) 

The New Nation made an impressive ICW debut, carrying on the legacy left by their “Auld” nation elders D’Lo Brown, Kama Mustafa, Farooq and the rest of the gang. Wait, widdye mean that’s not the nation they’re referring to? There are no other nations, unless we’re talking Uhaa? Suppose that gimmick is up for grabs now he’s Apollo Crews’in it aw err RAW, but listen. The nation in question isn’t important. What is important is that Jason Prime and Alexander Henry are a couple of mad angry bastards, with an abundance of talent to go with their mad anger. They came out and looked heavy raging at The 55, while The 55 were like “come ahead ya pair of absolute wallopers” and off we went. A good old fashioned dust-up with the addition of some mental flippy ship from Henry in the form of a moonsault on Sha and Fito as they hung about outside the ring bamming up some security guards about their haircuts. Moonsaults and mad bastards eh. What a time to be alive, in The Garage and watching the fuck out of some wrestling.

Sha and Fito survived the early energy from the newbies and got busy forcefully stomping fuck out them and getting quick cohesive tags on the go, Kid Fite even busted out the BSSE. That’s not the name of the firm him and Sha are in, that stands for BEST SNAP SUPLEX EVER, cause it fuckin is. If there’s ever been a snappier suplex performed in wrestling well, there hasn’t been, and whoever tellt ye there has is a fuckin liar. The New Nation lads went mental with splashes in opposite corner, before their momentum was derailed when Fito chucked Henry up in the air and kicked him square in the baws on the way down. A slingshot double suplex finished the job and The 55 move on in a tournament that they think shouldn’t even be happening. In their eyes the belts never left and if it wasn’t for their ex manager being a shitebag they’d still have them. Hard to argue with such bold claims when they made relatively short work of an impressive team like The New Nation. As much as Henry had more of the highlight reel stuff, Jason Prime looks like a legit nutter who would gladly tear one of yer limbs off and eat it right off the bone and theres always room for people of that ilk at ICW.

Big Damo vs DCT (ICW World Heavyweight Title match)

Red Lightning returned to the ring to ask DCT for a word, and proceeded to berate him for entering himself into the Glasgow Rules match with Renfrew without permission. As if Red was offended at DCT giving out and taking a kicking in the name of our entertainment. He fuckin hates us aw, and when the Damo came out and the Joe Coffey chants got going, we entered full on tantrum mode. Red sat in the corner and refused to let the show go on until the pro Joe chants stopped. Pro Joe eventually turned in to Anti Red as a chant about Red being a “Mighty Wanker” started up. I get that its a fun twist on Joes chant, but is calling someone a mighty wanker not a compliment? If someone called me that, I would thank them while quietly wondering how the fuck they came to know that I’m proper good at chuggin. We’re rambling here, Reds final act of business was to make a title match between Damo and DCT. Because they were both in the ring, and DCT exclusively wrestles massive guys wae even massive’r beards. Bram…..HE COMIN FUH YOU N…

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Right I’ve checked. There’s nae monsters under yer bed DCT. In fact there isnae even a bed at all. You’re literally floating. How are you doing this magic?

Damo was of course dominant throughout this one, because that’s what he does. He keeps the ICW Title by any means necessary. If wrestling moves don’t get it done? you’ll get flung through a table from a great height. If that doesn’t do it? You’ll get elbowed in the side of the heid until you start seeing wee tweety birds chasing each other above yer heid. If that doesn’t work? Sawn off shotgun in the trunks. Boom. Deid. No matter what means he chooses, he always keeps that belt. But DCT had his moments in amongst the dominance. Taking the big man off his feet with a flying shoulder tackle and planting him with a slick DDT. Damo seemed taken aback by it and proceeded to knock fuck out of DCT. Rounding off the fuck knocking with 100 elbows to the side of the head to bring about the referee’s stoppage. Even rounded it off with a few jabs to the temple as well. Its quite beautiful that folk are starting to boo the elbows to the side of the heid finish because they’re booing dominance. Like it offends folk that Damo takes the “ICW is a no DQ warzone!” mentality and puts his own spin on it. If its no DQ and hes bigger and badder than everycunt, why not elbow your opponents until they can’t feel their fingers any more. Damo took to the mic and told DCT if he wanted to beat Bram, he’d have to strap a pair on and furnish them with a few layers of carpet (the joke here is, he needs a big set of hairy baws to beat Bram, probably so Bram mistakes said baws for his own face and starts narcissistically admiring them, giving DCT the opening to crack him err the nut with a vase) DCT nodded in agreement, and seemed to understand what Damo was saying remarkably well for a man who’d just been paralysed by elbows.

Chris Renfrew vs Grado (Winner becomes number one contender for the ICW Title, loser never gets another shot)

It shows you the extent of how much the ICW landscape has changed that in the 4 months since their emotionally charged battle at the Square Go that neither of the two guys seemingly willing to fight till the death for that belt even have the title now. The brothers and sisters Renfrew celebrated his title win with have flew the nest. By “flew the nest” I mean “they turned on Renfrew and BT, battered fuck out them and half the audience needed treatment for shock” but its the same thing really eh? The lasting legacy from that match will be the legacy of violence Renfrew punctuated his title reign with, but another hugely intriguing product of it all is the new Grado. A guy who’s still there to entertain, but a guy who also knows how to adjust to an audience with an altered perception of who he is and what he represents. See if they all think yer a sell-out who is TNA to the fuckin core? Be that. Play up to it and make them hate ye even more, because the chances are that the ones chanting “fuck TNA!” have already made their mind up about you anyway, and no amount of tiger facepaint and having a wee dance is going to get them back on your side. So tell them to fuck off. Tell them you’re no fucking having it anymore. Tell them Grado goes where the fuckin money goes, because if any of us were in his shoes, would we do it any differently? It might have been emotion and personal shit that fuelled their match the last time, but on this occasion it was much simpler. Winner take all, loser can never even have a sniff at the gold again and in a lot of ways that made this war even more important than the last one.

It was a night where Grado came right out his comfort zone, but Renfrew seems to bring that out in him. No matter where one of them might be at in this wrestling game, the other one is destined to be his enemy. Good vs evil and in ICW right now Renfrew is more good than evil, so what does Grado have to be by default? The bad guy. The one shouting at the crowd telling them “Don’t talk aboot TNA!” as if TNA was a close relative. It wisnae a heel turn, but it was Grado actually confronting this carry on for the first time and that was intriguing. He also confronted Renfrew with a barbed wire bat across the back and a kendo stick over the napper because why wait on Renfrew getting the toys out when you know fine well where they’re kept. Renfrew hit so many different forms of Stone Coldrenfrewwwwwwwwwwwww2tack Stoner and Grado kept kicking out. They traded thunderous jabs, they traded blood, sweat and speckles of shite. They left absolutely everything they had out there once again and even if they really don’t like each other in real life, they combine to make magic in that wrestling ring and that will forever be the legacy of their battles when it comes down to it. Perfect enemies. Renfrew hit the T-Virus on his enemy for a 2 count. Another fuckin 2…HOW IS HE DOING THIS?! Because killing a mere mortal is probably quite easy, but killing someone who wants to kill you as much as you want to kill them? Not quite as easy.

Out came the thumbtack chair and that never ends well does it. Someone always ends up hauf deid. Renfrew brought it out but caught the sharp end of it with the R-Gra-Do and Rock Bottom on top of it puncturing each and every one of his vital organs. Renfrew might have accepted it if that was what got the job done, but to kick out of that and get pinned moments later thanks to a simple roll up? A bitter pill to swallow. Grado becomes number one contender and Renfrew never gets a shot again, an even more bitter pill to swallow, but the last pill was the bitterest. The sarest. When Red Lightning climbed in the ring after the match was done and dusted, Renfrew probably expected a bit of gloating. Rub his nose in it aye. That’s expected, but to fire the cunt who carried your title proudly and stuck his life on the line to defend it time after time? That’s a step too far. That’s ripping the soul out of your company for the sake of being able to say ye done it. You’d think Red Lightning was some kind of villainous authority figure who you’re supposed to hate with behaviour like that eh?

Renfrew gone. Billy Kirkwood gone. Polo Promotions gone. Mikey Whiplash gone. WHO ELSE HAS TO FALL BEFORE OUR SAVIOUR PRESENTS HIMSELF? I ASK YE.

Overall a solid episode of Friday Night Fight Club. I give each match over 3.76 stars out of 5 and the show overall a solid “It was good”. Thanks for yer time. 

Thanks to David J.Wilson for the fine images.

ICW 2016 Square Go Review

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The Barrowlands Continue reading

ICW – Fear and Loathing 8 Review (AT THE SOLD OUT SECC)

 

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ICW sold out the SECC. Continue reading

ICW – The Ministry Of Silly Headlocks Review (of sorts…)

My favourite Edinburgh show by a mile, in a venue that can be a sweaty pain in the dick as well. It was finally an Edinburgh Continue reading

ICW – Flawless Victory Review

Credit Warrior Fight Photography

Credit Warrior Fight Photography

It was a night of homecomings as ICW Continue reading

ICW Barramania Review

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Every great mutiny needs a rebel. Continue reading

The Polo and Hearto Saga

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Wrestling is all about trickery. Making the audience buy in to something that might not be 100% real. There are feuds and rivalries between people who are the best of pals away from the ring, and the trickery there is convincing you that they aren’t best pals; that all the jabs chucked, and running knees to the baws delivered were all real. Fuelled by true friction. The majority of wrestling feuds are between two people who can at least tolerate each other. There’s always an element where the characters have to inject a certain amount of emotion into it to make it believable. Also known as “acting”

Jackie Polo and Lionheart are not acting.

When this rivalry first emerged it made all the sense in the world. They do have completely different wrestling philosophies. Lionheart has always been an avid self promoter and there’s fuck all wrong with that. If you have a name that people recognise, and accolades people might take notice of, tell everycunt. Shout it fae the fuckin rooftops, cause shouting it leads to opportunities, and opportunities leads to money. Its as simple as that. Everyones looking for the best way to get people through the door to see them do that wrestling carry on.

Jackie Polo self promotes in a different way. Jackie Polo lets the world know that in his eyes, he’s the best Scotland has to offer. In that ring, on the mic, and in any sort of competitive scoop slamming competition. He’s the guy. Come see him if you want to see perfection. Simple as that. Two different ways of doing things. Two different attitudes towards everything. They clash. No matter who you believe when it comes to the origins of this unrest, its very clear by the way the “shoot” interview in January ended, that this is real. These two fucking hate each other and there’s a good chance this match ends in a no contest because they beat each other to a bloody pulp. ICW has had plenty of extreme moments, but they’ve had nothing as extreme as two guys vehemently battering fuck out each other. The difference between this feud and pretty much every other feud in Scotland recently, is that these two truly hate each other and cant wait to show 1,600 in the Barrowlands just how real it is.

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Theres an aspect of this match, and the main event at Barramania that some folk might be overlooking. This is the old guard vs the new school. This is auld Crossroads vs the revamped Crossroads. This is the auld dugs vs the slightly younger dugs. This could mark the dawning of a new era. Ye see Jackie Polo wanted Lionheart in the first place so he could prove that he was better than him. That he had surpassed any level Lionheart had ever reached. He thought Hearto was on his way out, and he should have stuck to the first retirement. Whilst that infamous tweet was undoubtedly disrespectful, it was a sign that Jackie Polo never felt Lionhearts injury was relevant in a wrestling sense because in his eyes, he had already retired, and Jackie Polo was charged with delivering one last nail in the coffin.

But Lionheart never gave up. He worked his way back. No matter what you think of Lionheart, you cant do anything but admire that. Not only a career threatening injury, but a life threatening injury. He bided his time, and rebuilt. Now he can do the thing he loves to do again, and in his eyes that means Jackie Polo dies. Thats where the venom comes from. Its fuck all to do with any of the personal stuff both Jackie Polo and Lionheart himself have brought up. Its fuck all to do with any shots they’ve taken at each others careers. Its to do with two guys not liking each other. To the point that one of them didnt even have a sympathetic word when the other almost had his retirement taken out of his own hands. Jackie Polo doesn’t respect Lionheart, and Lionheart couldnae give a shit about that, but the fact that Jackie Polo almost found humour in the fact that Lionheart might not be able to do the thing he loves anymore? Thats when professional courtesy goes out the window, and the punches dont get pulled. The elbows get properly dropped. Right on the pointy bit. The rocks are properly bottomed. The hazards are real.

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The problem for Lionheart there is that Jackie Polo disnae gie a fuck. Jackie Polo has had the guts kicked out him by Johnny Moss and still got the win. Jackie Polo has sat in front of an audience that chose to turn the other way, and remained undeterred, delivering a performance every time. Jackie Polo wanted this to be real, so he could show the world that Jackie Polo is not a character. Jackie Polo is not an exaggeration of a real man. Jackie Polo is real. There’s a Mr and Mrs Polo, and they still sing that song to me, about the time they called him Jackie. He didn’t want a match with Lionheart because he felt it could further his career as Jackie Polo the wrestling character, he wanted the match because as a man, Jackie Polo disagrees with the way Lionheart goes about his business. He feels that he’s an arse kisser, and if Jackie Polo can take enough jabs at the old dog to have him biting back, that’s exactly what he wants. Hearto SHOULD want to legitimately knock fuck out of him, and Jackie Polo is undoubtedly ready to fire legit blows back at him. Say what you want about Jackie Polo, but its exactly a year since this match was supposed to take place, and he’s kept this feud hot. Considering how fast things move on in indy wrestling, that no mean feat.

While the hatred between the two is undoubtedly real, there’s no doubt that they both know this could be the best match of their careers. Jackie Polo told the audience it would be rubbish. It very well might, but matches of this nature rarely disappoint. Polar opposites they might be, but they’re both performers at the end of the day and both want to showcase themselves in the best way possible. The best way to do that is to steal the fuckin show, and batter each other afterwards if ye must. The outcome of this match may give some indication as to what way the title match might go, because make no mistake about it; the majority of folk reckon Lionheart has it won. The crowd expects and they’re expected to get their moment. Obviously a no contest is possible but unlikely, so if ICW really want to show people they are putting their faith in the new school, having Polo come out on top would make a huge statement, and maybe give Joe Coffeys legions of fans a bit of hope when he faces up to on of Lionhearts old pals, the original Scottish superstar Drew Galloway.

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For me a Polo win would be a brave but logical move, because Polo was the one who made Scottish Wrestling real to me. That character made it feel like it mattered. If a guy could inject so much commitment into a character, and keep it going amidst unspeakable amounts of abuse, and the occasional threat of retaliatory urination from Sweeney, it must matter. These guys must be serious. On the other side of the coin, when I went to my first ICW show, the only person I was told about was Lionheart. He was “the guy whos wrestled for WWE and TNA” and he had a belter of a match with Mikey Whiplash that night, Truth be told, I’ve scarcely seen him have a shite match, and he undoubtedly earned all those accolades you hear rhymed off when his name’s mentioned, but to gain those accolades he needed opportunities to shine. He probably needed someone older and more experienced to step to one side and let him climb up the ladder.Theres certainly a thirst from a lot of folk to see Lionheart punch Polo’s cunt in, but maybe there’s a way to do that and still have Polo with his hand raised in victory. Maybe the valiant comeback can be equally valiant in defeat as it would be in victory.

Lionheart certainly has plenty left in the tank and will have a new lease of life since his recovery, but when you put the personal shit aside, it might make sense for Polo to win. The shock value alone would make it worthwhile, because wrestling is about trickery. Wrestling is about convincing the audience that what they’re watching is 100% real, and there’s nothing more real than something that leaves you slack jawed, wondering what the fuck just happened.

Having said that, Lionheart’s probably gonnae win eh? Ach who fuckin knows. It’ll be good but. jkpl

That last image, and all the other ones were of course provided by David J Wilson and his excellence. The shoot interview they are taken from can be found on ICW On Demand. 

GPWA – Drew Mcdonald Fundraiser THIS FRIDAY

drewDrew McDonald was hugely influential in British Wrestling from the day he entered it until the day he died. Truth be told, I didn’t know British Wrestling existed until late 2012, and its taken me 2 and a half years to get up to speed with the current climate, but I do know that Drew was a big influence on many of the people I admire and enjoy watching today, and having read a lot about him and his work, I can understand why. Not many people who got into wrestling back in Drews day were lifers. Not many stuck with it when it was shite. Drew was connected to this business from the day he got in to it until the day he passed on and continues to have a presence after death. Even as recently as 2 and a half years ago he still had drawing power as a performer, as he and Wolfgang provided Grado’s first tag partners in his ICW debut. On most of the significant footnotes in British Wrestling history, Drew McDonald has some part in it, and he has left a mark on British Wrestling akin to few others, and his loss was felt by many on either side of the border.

As for the show itself, there’s no card announced but there are people announced. People who are awfy good at the wrestling. The GPWA trainers themselves (Wolfgang, BT Gunn. Red Lightning, Jack Jester and Lionheart) along with folk like Kay Lee Ray, Chris Renfrew Carmel Jacob, Liam Thomson, Mikey Whiplash, Stevie Boy, Davey Blaze, The Owens Twins, Dickie Divers and anyone else on the poster I haven’t mentioned. It’ll be good, there will be a raffle, and many great wrestling matches will be had. The raffle prizes include 2 tickets to the next BCW show (featuring Drew Galloway, Marty Scurll, Kid Fite, Davey Richards and other large men in wrestling gear) and two tickets to the next two ICW shows at The Garage, Spacebaws: Return Of The Jewdi (main even Kenny Williams vs Noam Dar) and Flawless Victory. So fans of wrestling matches and a right good raffle, get yer arse out the house and to Dennistoun for the show. If you aren’t a fan of raffles or wrestling, then you probably aren’t very good at being a human and should stay indoors to prevent anyone catching whatever awful anti-social disease you have.

GPWA are doing good things as well, so that deserves some recognition. A few pals have been at training since the first intake late last year and all have nothing but praise for the training and the personalised way in which every trainee is treated. While some might be intimidated by the initial 8 week “trial” period, to me that’s just an attempt to make sure you’re serious and not wasting your, or anyone elses time. Everyone learns at different paces so don’t worry about maybe not taking to it as quickly as others. As long as you’re not a pure helmet and you show a bit of dedication, you’ll be fine.

Sadly I can’t make it to the show personally on Friday, but I think you all should. Its the same night as a cracking SWA show in Govan tae, so at the very least, get yourself to a wrestling show. Honour Drew in some way by screaming your lungs out and having a good night at the wrestling. Even if you go to SWA, chuck a wee something in the pot for Drew. All funds raised go to Drews family.

If anyone who isnt terrible at writing and is planning to go to this show fancies reviewing it for the site. Get in touch either on twitter (@snapmarenecks) or the Snapmare Necks FB page. If you can’t write, I’ll likely tell you to bolt, but all I’m really looking for is passionate, honest writing. I’d very much like the show covered on the site as I was planning to go, so give me a shout if you’re up for it.

 

Tickers for the fundraiser can be bought at La Cala Bar and I assume if theres still room, there will be some on sale on the night. 

 

An Interview With GM of ICW Spacebaws…Red Lightning

Thought I’d give him his full title as opposed to just calling it “Rid Lightnin interview….the second wan”
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That image was picked specifically for this interview to serve as a reminder for anyone who might have forgotten, or any new fans of ICW who maybe don’t know what Red Lightning once represented in the company you have grown fanatical for. Red Lightning was the guy who pinned your hero. Continue reading

ICW Fear and Loathing 7 Review (BARROWLANDS)

POSTER Continue reading