“What is love?”
As I dug my spoon into my fourth Muller Crunch Corner of the evening, shirtless…crying in the mirror. I glanced down at what remained and asked the yoghurty crunchy goodness if it would do me a favour.
“Baby….dont hurt me”
It had been a bad day. They come and go when you’re on your own. Sometimes the freedom is great. Other times the soul crushing loneliness leads you to a point where all you can think about is eating snack foods in the mirror. Looking at the disgrace that is your existence. This was one time too many though. I blacked out, and came to 3 hours later, beard aw caked in yoghurt. Chin tucked to into my chest like I had an off switch on my back, someone had pressed it and I shut down like a computer. This had to be the last time. There had to be better way. Not only did I need someone to love me, I needed a shirt. I needed a chance to kill these two birds with one stone. Or one tweet to be more specific. So I took to Twitter. I thought “why not start at the very top and work our way down?” so I went to my dream woman. The technical wrestling goddess known as Natalya Neidhart. I offered her a proposition.