ICW Helter Skelter Review

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Match of the night is a fairly pointless thing eh? Well, it’s all about how the person calling it sees wrestling. Beauty in the eye of the beholder and all that shite. Ye could ask 10 different people the question and get 10 different answers, so I never really overthink it. Whichever one stands out in my mind as the one I enjoyed most at the time get’s the MOTN tag, and we move the fuck on, but see since Helter Skelter finished its the fuckin ONLY thing I’ve been able tae think about. Because EVERY match had a case for it. Every match done the job it was supposed to do and more, and they were all fucking superb. I’ve switched between three different matches, before finally deciding on one, and tbh, I’ve forgot pretty much everything that happened on the show as a result. Tiny wee brain exhausted, so this is where the review stops. None of yer usual hunner million words. Its done. I’m oot. Retired at 25. Nothing left to give. We’ve had a good run and that eh? I enjoyed it. We all got sweaty together, and enjoyed shoutin in the direction of guys who could undoubtedly batter us, but I’m calling it. No even gonnae say what I decided on for MOTN tbh, it’s no important anymore. What’s important is that you take care of yourself, and those you hold dear. It’s only wrestling ye know? Continue reading

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ICW – Helter Skelter Preview

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When Insane Championship Wrestling descend upon Newcastle for the second time in the first date of their much anticipated Magical Mystery Tour, we’re sure to have hard hitting slams, spine shattering suplexes, ferocious figure fours, chest altering chops, and brain bashing bulldogs! Moves, storytelling and alliteration all meshed into one majestic wrestling supershow, fun for all the (Over 18) family. Continue reading

ICW – Jimmy Nails Revenge Preview

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Newcastle for fuckin wrestling eh? Whit are we even daein? Is this real? Before London I’d been to England once in my whole life, and it wis purely so I could give it the middle finger when we got tae the border. Fuck England. Independence now ya pricks. Nigel Farage is a re-incarnation of Hitler, and that 5 chinned BNP cunt looks like a taxi driver you’d suspect of fingerblastin his passengers against their will. Whit dae ye even call that cunt again? Nick Clegg! Thats the wan. Aye…fuck him.

I jest though, England’s lovely if ye don’t mind English people, and eh…wrestling’s good! ICW’s taking over the fuckin world anaw. First Glesga got conquered, now Edinburgh gets pumped repeatedly, London got sold out and pillaged for everything worth having, and now Newcastle’s gettin fuckin invaded. London had a few of the diehards doon, but Newcastle’s getting flooded wae disorientated, drunk Scottish folk. Absolutely swarmin the place in the name of grapplin and good times. I really hope I meet one of The Geordie Shores, and if Peter Beardsley disnae tweet me back about catchin a pint wae him and either Ant or Dec (the wan wae the biggest foreheid, I think thats Ant) I’m gonnae be raging. So if ye like Jimmy causin Havoc, The New Age Kliq slingin hunners ah kicks (this is awful patter, I’m truly sorry) and eh…..Fergal fuckin Devitt. ICW – Jimmy Nails Revenge has got it aw. Ye still no planning on coming? Newcastle too far away is it? You’ve got work on Monday. Excuses mate. Fuck work, fuck yer bellyachin, just fuckin shut up and get tae Newcastle.

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