RAW IS WAR BAYBAY. It’s no war, there’s nae war to fight. It’s just Raw. Trips and Steph make their way out looking fab. Steph, waw, she is killing it as per. In her sexy wee suits with her heely expressions. If you look up the definition of goddess in the dictionary it will say Steph Omac. I am most certainly not making that up. Steph says some things about Rollins, bigging him up and reflecting on his Connecticut roots(Raws in Connecticut the night btw). Continue reading
Money In The Bank eh. A wrestling show. Don’t mistake this for a review btw, I’ll do that properly at some point. This is more of an initial reaction thing, although it will contain SPOILERS and many of them, in case ye were daft enough to not get that fae the title. I think ye got it though. Ye seem like a smart guy. That’s what I’ve always liked about you pal. That intuition. That’ll serve ye well in later life. Well, that and the delicious rump ye happen tae be sporting, but this isnae about you and yer terrific tail, it’s about the Money In The Bank PPV.
Aye I’m cheating a bit, so whit. Wanna fight abahd it? I cannae be arsed writing a MITB preview AND something else for the Daily Thing, so I figured we’d kill 2 birds wae the one stane and combine the two. I’ve still no reviewed RAW yet either. Fuckin disgrace man. In my defence….I don’t really have a defence, so I’ll shut the fuck up and write this MITB Preview.
MS (Editor, all round chief/good cunt) – This focusses more on a wrestling related subject and not hating me, so my bits in italics will not occur often, unless he tries tae make oot like I wasn’t at this show with him. Oh he done that in the very first sentence? Sound. His career is OVER.
Recently, I attended the Glasgow leg of WWE’s Wrestlemania Revenge tour. It was always my intention to pen a review and have it featured on Snapmare Necks, until Martin and I had a misunderstanding and I was unceremoniously dismissed from the blog. Truth be told, I wasn’t going to divulge this information, but I haven’t been on the roster of writers for the blog in a long time. Any blog post I’ve written I have had to purchase the bandwidth from Martin and pay for my words to be featured. So I will be using my spot today to include a short review of my experiences at WWE’s live event.
So Smackdown eh. Smackdown being the show which I’m trying to review without slang ERRY SINGUL WEEK (that was foreign slang, so it doesn’t count….leave me alone) I worry about the slang stuff a wee bit. Someone asked recently if the spelling mistakes were a “stylistic thing” which made me wonder how many folk have opened a link to my stuff and found it unintelligible. Writing the way I speak is undoubtedly more fun than writing like this and opens up a million different ways to make things funny, but I can do it this way and still be the most hilarious wrestling reviewer in the fuckin land. Know why? Cause I’m dead clever (my maw tells me that anyway) and for all the comedy possibilities that come along with slang, they can be completely overshadowed by a well timed swear word. So lets gets plain English, and let’s get sweary! C’mon. Walk with me. It’ll be good.
RAW is the same show every fuckin week lately, and I’m getting sick bothering my arse aboot it. Don’t mistake this kinda grumpy start as the tone of this review eh? I’ll make it as sunny and hilarious as humanly possible as we go on, but I’d like tae say right away, that its gettin extremely difficult tae pretend tae be invested in RAW as a weekly show, when its full of the same shite. Same injustices. Same everythin, different toon. Yer client Brock Lesner conquered the streak, Daniel Bryan might get fucked over, and will certainly get a doing aff Kane. Big E and his marvellous bouncy chebs remains underutilised. Drew Mcintyre remains in the best shape of his life, so he can job to various Mexicans of various statures, and fuckin Batista. Aw the time. Batista in ma face wae his stupid tattoos and popsocks. I hate ye Dave. Ye’ve got considerably fitter and more able in the ring wae every passing week since yer comeback and I still hate ye wae a fiery passion. Fuck ye and yer permanently mistimed shanner of a spear.
Rock tha Micra-phone.
Stereo…with the Dean Ambrose
When RAW starts wae Dean Ambrose on the mic, RAW starts aff properly. RAW starts aff the way god intended. His words weren’t spectacular. He told us The Shield are up more than they’re down, which is quite obviously a reference tae whit kinda swedge they’re intae, but he delivers the words in a way that makes me wantae tattoo his name on the back of my haun and go about slapping folk tae they get the message. Dean Ambrose is the guy. He will have justice one day.
Justice for Ambrose