Here’s the thing guys. I really fuckin liked RAW last week. Hunners and millions. The most complete RAW in months if ye ask me. A belter. So that made me think a wee bit so it did. I’m no a big fan of thinking. It gets in the way of havering shite, and living haphazardly, but aye. I was thinking, if I really liked the show, and I really like writing, why the fuck wis I no buzzing tae get a review done right away? Last year, if RAW was properly good, I’d either start writing right after the show finished, or first thing the next morning. Yet here I sit, 3 hours before MITBs due tae start, n there’s still nae review for the final RAW before it, then it fuckin clicked.
Guys. I think I fell outta love wae reviewing RAW. 😮
Or maybe it fell out of love wae me? I dunno. Its been a year and a bit that I’ve been reviewing this shit, and that amount of exposure tae me tends tae turn folk sour, so maybe its more a case of it getting sick of me than me getting sick of it, but I’ll tell ye whit I’m gonnae dae. I’m gonnae try and get the love back. I’m gonnae review it a bit differently this week and gush about the many positives that the show contained. Straight up fuckin leakin aw the positive vibes, all over you and that sexy boady of yours. Mess ye right up. Ye intae it? I know I’m intae it. Typed myself intae quite the frenzy here, so lets get tae it. Its about ta get NAWTY.
Aye I’m cheating a bit, so whit. Wanna fight abahd it? I cannae be arsed writing a MITB preview AND something else for the Daily Thing, so I figured we’d kill 2 birds wae the one stane and combine the two. I’ve still no reviewed RAW yet either. Fuckin disgrace man. In my defence….I don’t really have a defence, so I’ll shut the fuck up and write this MITB Preview.
MS (Editor, all round chief/good cunt) – This focusses more on a wrestling related subject and not hating me, so my bits in italics will not occur often, unless he tries tae make oot like I wasn’t at this show with him. Oh he done that in the very first sentence? Sound. His career is OVER.
Recently, I attended the Glasgow leg of WWE’s Wrestlemania Revenge tour. It was always my intention to pen a review and have it featured on Snapmare Necks, until Martin and I had a misunderstanding and I was unceremoniously dismissed from the blog. Truth be told, I wasn’t going to divulge this information, but I haven’t been on the roster of writers for the blog in a long time. Any blog post I’ve written I have had to purchase the bandwidth from Martin and pay for my words to be featured. So I will be using my spot today to include a short review of my experiences at WWE’s live event.
So Smackdown eh. Smackdown being the show which I’m trying to review without slang ERRY SINGUL WEEK (that was foreign slang, so it doesn’t count….leave me alone) I worry about the slang stuff a wee bit. Someone asked recently if the spelling mistakes were a “stylistic thing” which made me wonder how many folk have opened a link to my stuff and found it unintelligible. Writing the way I speak is undoubtedly more fun than writing like this and opens up a million different ways to make things funny, but I can do it this way and still be the most hilarious wrestling reviewer in the fuckin land. Know why? Cause I’m dead clever (my maw tells me that anyway) and for all the comedy possibilities that come along with slang, they can be completely overshadowed by a well timed swear word. So lets gets plain English, and let’s get sweary! C’mon. Walk with me. It’ll be good.
Made a right song and dance about last weeks RAW Review eh? Kinda hard tae live uptae that in some ways. Namely me no really giving that much of a fuck about it this week. I started with that mindset anyway, and then the show only went and gave me numerous stauners, and sare heids wae the sheer activity of it.
So I decided a while back that if I was going to be doing Smackdown Reviews regularly again, they’d be in plain English, with maybe the odd scottish word in there, so this is exactly what you’ll be seeing here. No extravagances, no drawings, no long drawn out tangents about me having recurring nightmares that involve Batista falling down a well, into a pit of discarded placentas, and having to eat his way out. None of that disturbing patter, just straight up writing about straight up wrestling…STRAIGHT UP PATNA. Lets dae it. (sorry do it…i meant do it…like the Nike advert but less sexual…cause that Nike ad campaign was about shaggin eh? Lets not kid ourselves. Nike wanted you to use those Air Maxes you splashed out on to entice broads back to the boudoir for some high energy pumpin..No tangents though, this is vital Smackdown based information so it is…really…no honestly…wrestling) Aye…Wrestling.