The return of the single greatest red and black singlet with gold stars wearing performer in the history of ICW happens this Sunday, and we should all be very fucking excited about that. Red Lighting is yer ex ICW Champion. Red Lightning is one of the best in Scotland at what he does. Red Lightning is here, tae ransack….yer wrestling show. Ransack it and leave it in better shape than it was when he turned up, cause thats how Red Lightning ransacks things. Aside from that, big Sha Samuels is up for a visit, and it would be A Damn Shame is Coach Trip and Sweeney don’t have a great match (ye get it aye? aye yer a smart kid, I’m sure ye dae) so here we go. Week 4 of yer ICW 6 week extravaganza, week 3 of the Fringe one. Keep up with how its gone down so far here and here. Keep up with how this show went down by being there. Don’t worry if you’ve no got a ticket btw, ye can still get them here.
Is there any other promotion in the world that contains a guy who can get a crowd hot by walking fae one end of the ring to the other? Theres a certain genius about having 200-300 people gripped by you fuckin….walking. Continue reading
Six weeks in a fuckin row ICW. Really? I cannae dae it. It’s too much. Yees dae realise how much these shows suck the life out of people eh? If you’re a living breathing human, and you’ve been to ICW on a Sunday…the Monday after is not gonnae be pretty. Even if you don’t drink/partake in any other forms of intoxication, it’s still gonnae be a weary day. Making us do this 6 WEEKS IN A ROW(7 weeks out of 8 if ye were in London) is just cruelty. Intolerable cruelty. Or it would be if this wasn’t the best indie wrestling company in the fuckin world, and we weren’t all wrestling daft. Lets fuckin do it. Leg 2 of the big 6 week, jaw scuddin, arse booting, back cracking, bottle smashing err yer fuckin heid extravaganza. The Fringe run. Colt Cabana. The ICW roster. Burning Edinburgh to the ground. Figuratively like, but if a small fire breaks out somewhere, I wouldnae be surprised. Hopefully its somewhere in the vicinity of Tynecastle. Anyway. Wrestling show. No a lot announced for it so this will likely be havering nonsense. Lets do it. Shall we? Continue reading
As per usual wae the aftermath of a big house party, there’s a lot tae contend with. First and foremost, everycunt’s hungover. Even those who did not partake in any alcohol or swedge consumption are suffering. I spent all of Monday lying motionless in a sweaty heap, while my pal whiteyed in my toilet, cause Sunday just…I dunno. It done that tae ye. It took every single ounce of energy you could muster, then booted you hard in the chest, rendering ye a pile of useless flesh…in the best way possible. DNA and a bone structure, thats all you are now. Maybe thats all ye ever were. The point is, Shugs House Party wasn’t the best wrestling show ICW have put on this year, but it was…momentous. A special night for the company and for everyone who gives a fuck about it, and its taken me a gid 24 hours just tae let it all sink before trying to put words on it that make any degree of sense. Continue reading
Some people are born to do certain things in professional wrestling. To the point that once they find that thing, or it finds them, that there’s really nae point in trying to do anything else. I realise indie wrestlers have to get used to playing different roles in different promotions, but sometimes there’s nae point. If you find the thing that you’re masterful at.. The thing that makes people’s jaws drop, and has them eating out the palm of yer hand every single time. Do that thing. Do it over and fucking over again, and when people ask ye why, ask them if they’d ask a dolphin why it swims? Nope. Would they ask an eagle why it flies? Nope. Cause that’s what they were MADE to do. Steve Austin was made tae wear waistcoats, batter fuck out his boss, and soak everything within a 50 foot radius of him in beer. He CAN do other things, but asking him to would be a waste of everycunts time. Asking Virgil to show up at an autograph signing and actually sign some autographs would be fuckin daft anaw. He goes to those things tae be photographed looking miserable and lonely. That’s what he was made to do in professional wrestling, and Jimmy Havoc was made to do something in professional wrestling also. Jimmy Havoc was made to make you hate him with every fibre of your being.
Studio 24 might be my favourite venue ICW run regularly. That’s no bias towards this particular show either, cause some nice things happened in it (we’ll get tae that eventually, calm yit) that were mare joyful on a personal level, I just mean in terms of atmosphere and crowd interaction, its always a fuckin braw time. The only downside for Glesga punters, is that its in fuckin Edinburgh, and while I quite like Edinburgh these days, its ratio between shops that sell tartan memorabilia and chippies is not fuckin favourable. We must have stoated by at least 10 of these stupit shops fulla tartan hats, and mugs that say “Bonnie Scotland – Home of Bravehearts, not just hunners ah junkies askin if ye’ve got a spare 20p for an imaginary bus” before we could locate somewhere that can sell ye a fish supper. But see if ye go tae Edinburgh for professional wrestling shows and miserable Hibs fans? Sunday May 25th 2014 wis the Da.