Why We Love Wrestling

So why do we love wrestling? when it comes down to it, its appeal lies on two levels. The first one is the competitive element. Everyone has their favourites, and they want them tae win at all costs. They break their wee hearts when they don’t. It’s an injustice! CM Punk should be the World Heavyweight European Hardcore Champion, forever and ever. Daniel Bryan should share the rest of the belts wae Cesaro, and Big E can keep the IC strap. PUSH DREW MCINTYRE! Aw that shite.¬†We have our favourites and we support them like they’re members of our own family. Like they still suckle on the teet. In reality? its all make believe. Its no more spontaneous than a last minute script change on a sitcom. There’s plenty of improv of course. During matches, promos and anything CM Punk ever does. But its aw rigged. We’re all being played and we know it.

So where’s the appeal if we all know its a work? for me the second level is the storytelling. For me there is nothing more captivating than watching people who are the very best at what they do, telling us a wee story with nothing more than a set of wrestling moves and a particular way of putting them together at their disposal. Like all good stories, the ending has to be fulfilling though. If it doesn’t bring closure, that’s when unrest starts. When Cena takes someones finisher aff the top of the Empire State Building, and still kicks out at 2, that’s when cunts start throwing shit, and making incredibly embarrassing youtube vidoes of themselves burning an effigy of Randy Orton, drying their tears wae an auld Nexus t-shirt. Wondering where it all went wrang. It’s all Triple Hs fault. This company will always be corrupt as long as it’s the house McMahon built. Jack Tunney did it!
All these wee cliches wee aw churn out to make ourselves feel better for becoming too invested in a story.

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